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RE: HOW TO RUiN AN EMPIRE EPISODE XVIII: NOW HIRING

in #funny6 years ago

A contrarian would suggest that perhaps you should hire a dark alien rather than a non-alien male like everyone else you've hired. Don't give her any real work (since we know you make the decisions yourself that make the empire great, which include making life much less great for alien immigrants). But bring her in for a handful of photo ops and then give her a cubicle in that garbage compactor, perhaps?

I can refer a candidate who might fit the bill. She's also a billionaire in her own right, since I know that gets your attention.

Oprah.jpg

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I realize the inhabitants of your planet are quite primitive but I had assumed you had at least mastered the art of reading.

I made it quite clear that I was only looking for people who could never possibly look smarter than I am. I know who this loser is. She is an actual successful self-made billionaire who can prove her worth. Proving that you haven't lost all of your money is such a loser move. In addition, I have actually seen this being help other inhabitants of your planet. Why would anyone do that when they could simply step on them on their way to greatness. Has she ever said anything nice about me? No? Well then she is a wacky lowlife and I want to puke just looking at her. Rumor has it she also believes in common decency so that is strike 4 right there. Nice try.

Oh and by the way, those aliens who were treated so inhumanely (BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN! ) were only treated badly because of policies set up by the Rebellion. I would never do anything to harm younglings whether alien or decent humanoids. I was just enforcing those policies as the Rebellion clearly intended them to be enforced. Those Rebels want to just give the galaxy away to aliens. Everyone knows aliens should only be allowed in in order to work at my various projects.

Oh now I know why you would make such stupid comments. You are that inhabitant who got all excited about roadmaps a long time ago. You make the great pod racer Sebulba seem smart, which isn't easy to do. I like Gasgano!

I hope you can feel this you loser!