Zombie Apocalypse - 3 CRITICAL STEPS TO SURVIVE...

I'm not sure when it was decided that the world would end in a Zombie Apocalypse, but that seems to be the prevailing notion, so let's roll with it. If that is indeed how the world will end, best be prepared. In that vein, here's 3 things to do to survive the Zombie Apocalypse...

DISCLAIMER - do not take anything in this post seriously. Now, on to the steps...

Step 1 - HIDE YOUR TREZOR/NANO/KEEPKEY!!!

Make no mistake, the first thing I'm doing in the Zombie Apocalypse is locking down my Trezor, Nano, Keepkey and whatever else houses ANY crypto ANYWHERE. Zombies can't use crypto, so even if I don't survive, at least my kids will still have the crypto. This step is essential!!! Now that THAT'S taken care of, on to securing your person...

Step 2 - GO BAT-SHIT CRAZY

Yes, you read correctly. Go bat-shit crazy... hurl yourself into unhinged, foaming-at-the-mouth, raving lunatic mode (it'll be easier for some people to pull this off than others, seeing as how they live in this zone). As you see the Zombies approach (if running is not an option) launch yourself into a full-blown, yet very carefully contrived and convincingly executed MAD, FRENZIED CONNIPTION.

If given the choice between an afraid yet sane, somewhat normal looking human, and a berserk maniac run amok, the Zombies will likely go for the former (at least that's what I would do if I was a Zombie).

This step comes from the wisdom of my mother who, when it was time for me to travel the New York City subway system at all times of the day and night from Harlem to Washington Irving High School in the Village, taught me to throw an all-out FRENZIED FIT if I ever felt in danger.

Turns out it works. People who harbor ill-intent tend to shy away from people who are foaming at the mouth. Go figure.

If this theory holds, the crazier you are, the safer you'll be.

Step 3 - MATE WITH A ZOMBIE

This may sound like strange advice, but I believe it could be the perfect protection. You never know, you may find your perfect mate in a Zombie (I won't say soulmate, because I don't know for sure if Zombies have souls, but it's worth a try).

Let's not discriminate. Maybe Zombies aren't as bad as we've made them out to be. I say Zombies deserve a chance too.

Of course, if you two lovebirds decide to have kids, they won't be entirely human, but that's not necessarily a bad thing...

There you have it my fellow Steemians, the best advice I can offer for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.

Until then, live long & prosper (and whatever you do, lock down the crypto),
CryptoDiva