5th June 2012, 7:58 pm,

At mobile recharge shop

Me – 1 vodaphone
Retailer –Sure, pls wait for a second
(Retailer to other customer )- how much of yours ?
‘50 rupees’
‘yours ?’
‘Rs.100’
‘Here, fill the number’
‘Yours ?”
‘An Internet pack’
Retailer ………….
Customer ——-.
Retailer……
Customer—-.

Retailer –(back to me ): just a min bro
Me- its ok, I was in no hurry as I used to sit idle at home after quitting my job as an account assistant from kapkol services to study further
Retailer – Ballu…Ballu?……Ballu? where the hell this bster has gone ?
Ballllllllllllu………(this time more loud and clear)
Ballu- yes sir
Retailer – SE , you fking bch ??….??…..?
‘where the hell, you keep looping everyday at this time? What happened to the sim I gave you to activate ?’
Ballu- it has been boss
Retailer –thank god you did something productive this evening. Now help the customers.
I was still looking at retailer
Retailer – here, fill the number .
I filled the number, paid to retailer and moved towards densely populated streets of 60ft road Badarpur border New delhi -110044.

It was one of the hottest evenings of the season. The waves of heat were sizzling outside in the streets, but there was no deficiency in the crowd for sugarcane stalls. Chawmin wa-la-s, momos wa-ll-as and many other types of street food and its lovers, under the glowing, golden street light.

Standing at the other end, all of this meant nothing to me. I have been used to this kind of surrounding for awhile now. Three years ago, I moved away permanently from my family and adorable small hometown of Chamba in Tehri-Garwhal Uttarakhand. This place used to be the reason of my running heartbeat.

Unlike Delhi, I spent the first 18 years of my childhood. Not once was I aware that I was going to stay in such struggling and dreadful conditions. In the crowded streets of Delhi, where life has no meaning, where going on foot (walking without touching anyone) is considered an art, where fun is just a rat race after money

Like I said, my hometown was previously the reason for my beating heart. Yes, destiny has made some dramatic changes in my life, which completely compelled me to become an atheist. I am tired of discussing it, and I no longer have the courage to share this.

Despite being lost in thoughts and the heavy sound of pollution of traffic, I was able to feel the vibrating of my mobile phone in my pocket. I took it out, and my father’s number was flashing on the screen.

“Hello?” “Where are you?”, he said with a heavy, anxious voice. “In the market. I just came to refill my mobile phone. Why?” “Just a minute before, I came to know about Ninna” he said. “What? What about Ninna?” “Wo…”, he said. “Please papa, tell me what has happened. Please don’t increase my anticipation.” “Come home. I will tell you the whole story.”

I hung up, and without a single second passing, I threw on a shirt and rushed towards to the bus stop of on the Badarpur border. One of the drivers paid me special attention, so I pointed towards the research and referral hospital in Dhau-la-kuan.

I had to kill the deadly hours it would take to get home to clear my anxiety.

“bhai Kitna time lagega Pls thora jaldi karo,” I told the driver.” “1 ghanta tho lagega bhai jam bahut hai,” he said back to me. “Oh, God.”

It is a very strange thing to hear the word “God” come from an atheist. This was a word that had been completely erased from my vocabulary.

“Oh, God, are you going to give me another shock?”, I thought to myself, “No, please, please, for my sake…or for your sake of my believing…or for your sake of my disbelieving…please don’t do this.”

I was becoming more and more anxious as the ride continued. The trees I had to pass through to go home were passing by at the speed of a bullet when I looked out the window.

After bearing the 45 minute drive, I got to the gate of the research and referral hospital in Dhau-la-kuan. Suddenly my mobile phone began to ring again. “Oh, God..Who the hell is calling this time?”, I thought. It was Sunny.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Deepak. Where are you?”

“At the gate of the hospital.”

“You need to tell me everything”

“I don’t know, Sunny, I am also eager to know as much as you are.”

“Don’t lie, Please tell me the truth.”

“I am speaking truthfully. Even the security staff is not permitting I go in these odd hours.”

“Please, for God’s sake, let me know whenever you find out anything about him.”

“yeah, I will”

In the process, I saw familiar faces, but I didn’t pay them any attention. Instead, I convinced security to let us go inside, and after 5 minutes or so, they let us.

I was familiar with the hospital, as I had visited him many times, but surely not at these strange hours. It was around 9:50 p.m. Unlike many other hospitals, R&R had many rooms and plenty of space available to the patients. This dreadful, lonely place resembled a retro Bollywood movie’s “Bhootbangla” type.

I reached my destination of the 5th floor, the hematology ward. There I saw a few more familiar faces. They were sitting in the deep silence, and apart from them was Ninna’s father, sitting at the other end. I could feel the unbearable pain which was rolling down into the form of tears on his cheek. I could not speak a word, but only looked down to the ground in guilt and sadness.

As soon as I entered the room, everything got scattered like glass broken on the floor. My best friend from childhood was laying there, taking one-sided breaths off of a ventilator. His heart was being measured as well, and the beats were continuously decreasing…60…59…58…

Even with all of this, I salute his way of welcoming. He raised his hand in the air to show that he had been waiting for me. Even though he was half conscious, he was still able to recognize his best friend.

His brother-in-law, who was very familiar with me and standing beside me told me that the doctor had refused to do any more treatment. He would be saying goodbye to us within 2-3 hours. Everyone there, even Ninna, knew this. Upon finding this out, he was crying heavily with his father, he apologized his father for not be able to give the service that parents expect and raise their children in India.

He also passed an apology to her mother who was not there that he love her and he would always do.
He had shared many things with us, but at this point he was no longer able to speak a single word. Only his heartbeat was alive.

In a deep shock, I had to wonder if this was reality or a nightmare. This dramatic incident forced me into a deep sea of every single memory I had shared with him.

I couldn’t do anything. I went outside and leaned back onto a wall in a dark, black corner of that bloody, lonely hospital.

The first tear drop rolled onto my face, and 1 a.m. I sank even further into those memories I had of my childhood.

9.30 A.M., Next morning – Nightmare turned to reality