Freewrite #18 - Appetite

(Photo Credit : Shubhankar Sharma)

At this stage of my life, appetite is the bane of my existence.

Brain : “Get the chimichanga with rice, beans and guacamole.”
Body : “Hahahaha. 2 bites, then you’re taking a damn nap!”

I’ve lost 115 pounds since October of 2016. I also had a Cardiac Arrest a few months after that. I’ve already written articles, ad nauseum, about the event and where I’m at with things, so I won’t bore you with any of that.

Appetite is a daily struggle for me on multiple levels. My eyes are bigger than my stomach. My desire to learn and grow is palpable, yet my physical body prevents me from the pursuit. I take more naps than a toddler.

I’m of the opinion that while I lay motionless on a cold table for 12 minutes, God spared me. He kicked me out of the “Cardiac Club” and told me to get back on the horse. There’s a reason I’m still on this planet and I’m on the neverending pursuit to figure that out.

My appetite is to help people.
My appetite is to make a difference, to leave a legacy.

I crave knowledge.
I seek wisdom.
My appetite will not be satisfied until this happens.

When will I know that I’ve achieved these life goals?
Only then will the appetite be contained.