Sunset - Freewrite

in #freewrite7 years ago

Every week I visited the little Seaside town.

My friends and I would travel down to Santa Rita at 8:00 a.m. every Saturday morning.

The people there were always dancing, laughing, and having all kinds of fun.

The beach was a crystal clear color of blue and the sand was a shade of white that would make a wedding dress feel jealous.

It was only open during the day though, and only on Saturdays.

There were signs everywhere stating that tourists must leave the island no later than 6:00 p.m.


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Since the sun set no earlier than 6:30 p.m. no one had any idea what the beach was like after dark.

If you strayed out into the water and didn't come back before 6:00 p.m. the local police constabulary would send out a search for you....... and believe me...... they found you every time.

All the tourists would pile on to the buses heading back into town and everyone would compare notes about what a fun time they had at the little seaside resort.

Something always bugged me about the place though.

Busses never ran in the evenings and there seemed to be no way to get down here if it wasn't Saturday afternoon.

One Saturday I brought a snorkel with me and hid it in a rather large purse that I had.

At 5:00 p.m. I went to swim in the ocean but instead of staying near the beach I pulled out my snorkel and swam as far as I could.

I wasn't sure how long I had been swimming for but the beach was only a tiny dot.

I waded in the water and bided my time.

It was starting to get dark so I knew that it was time to head back to the narrow strip of white sand.

It must have taken me over an hour of swimming to return to that beach.

I figured there would be some locals hanging around and that they would notice me and send me back on the bus.

There weren't any locals around.

There wasn't anybody around at all.

The wind was blowing hard. I walked over to the little hot dog stand but no one was manning it.

I walked up to the street and started jogging towards a local inn I had seen on the way here.

No one was there.

Walking inside the inn there was no one at the front desk.

The local candy shop was empty.

There were no people in the streets.

I headed on down to the bus stop but no bus ever came.

Making my way back to the beach I couldn't help but notice the sand wasn't as white as I had remembered it.

In fact........ it was nearly black.

The water in the ocean was dull and grey like dish water.

I found a spot to lay down and figured I would simply sleep until morning listening to the lapping of the waves against the shore.

I woke up feeling refreshed but it wasn't morning.

Time hadn't seemed to move at all.

What was going on here?

I got back in the ocean and headed back to where I was wading around before.

Once again the beach was just a tiny dot of sand in the distance.

Suddenly the sun rose in the sky and in the distance I heard the sound of voices.

I headed back to the beach with the last of my energy.

I was exhausted and ready to go home.

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sound a good place to visit, i will have a look at it

Fantastic story @jazzle. well written. Thanks for sharing.

wow...that was one heck of an experience , i don't know what i would have done myself i mean , i would be devastated and lonely, It seems the sunset was short lived and deceived you badly.

Another Twilight Zone episode brought to you by @jeezzle

Hopefully it was a good episode at least.

Was. I look forward to the next......

Wow, this is an amazing, intricate tale you've started weaving here. It's amazing where your mind goes sometimes when doing these. I am the proud bringer of today's landmark prompt. I hope you can participate.

To celebrate freewrite number ✴💯✴
we have a special challenge to go along with today's prompt. Good luck and have fun! 🎈🎉

Day 100 - 5 Minute Freewrite Prompt: It was Saturday morning...

Sounds like a shroom trip lol.

Thanks for sharing :)

Great little story, that could be developed into a really spooky short story! Great idea! ;)

Thank you. I actually had an idea that would have been really difficult to translate to the written word. It's sort of like a place that can only exist for a couple of hours so people were allowed there for that couple of hours but it didn't exist at any other time so people were prevented from going there any other time.

I think that this story almost gets the point across but at the same time kind of walks over into a Twilight Zone area which isn't really the direction I wanted to go with it....... but then again you're not supposed to take that long on these freewrites.........so I just kind of let it go where it went.

Yes. It was twilight zone (ish) and I could see it being a Black Mirror Episode.

what a nice story.:)

lovely story!! that's mOments soo beautifull when sunset on seaside, and you standing there in front of lake......!!

beauty of sunset