The Evolution of Parenting

in #freedom7 years ago

When we create another life, we take on a special relationship with that individual as a parent. The same is true when we adopt a young person and take on the responsibility of a parent. As with any relationship, it is up to us to decide the terms. It is critical to respect that we do not get to decide the terms for others and we do not get to impose our standards. The most important thing you can do as a parent is ensure that your relationship with your child respects their personhood. As we better understand parenting, we can eliminate the use of force as a tempting, but counterproductive, technique to influence our children’s behavior. But truly respecting and nurturing a fellow human means much more than not spanking them.

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As we become more efficient, we free up more time and energy for better parenting. If the moral argument was not compelling enough, science has clearly demonstrated that hitting children interferes with the healthy growth of their brains. Using violence against children teaches them that violence is an acceptable way to settle disputes and influence others. When a parent hits a child, they often forget the physical nature of the relationship from the child’s perspective and just how intimidating they can be. This also warps a child’s view of authority. The use of violent language, yelling, and anger can have the same effect and teach children the same destructive habits.

Parents should use reason and logic to influence the decisions of their children and use force only when immediately required for safety. This is the same standard by which we would like to be treated as adults. Communicating needs and requests is more effective than making demands and threatening consequences. Sometimes this requires patience, but a little patience to inform and educate early on will save parents from dealing with irrational behavior later. When parents say, “because I say so,” they are conditioning their children to submit to authority and missing the most powerful opportunity to teach by example. This principle should be applied more broadly to our attitude towards our children’s education.Parents should facilitate natural learning, not force their children into indoctrination centers. Only by teaching our children with reason and logic can we expect them to be able to think for themselves.

While you have no obligation to use your body to bring an unborn child into the world or to nurture a child, parents enjoy the privilege of defining a sacred relationship. If you define it as one of ownership and domination, you will raise a child who will contribute slavery and servitude. Effective parenting will break the cycle of violence, and each generation will be much more loving and capable than its predecessor because we naturally strive to be better parents.

Chapter 8 Section III From FREEDOM! by Adam Kokesh

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I am the author of FREEDOM!, a book endorsed (I mean banned) by the US Department of “Justice.” You can get a copy here. I’m running for Not-President in 2020 on the platform of the peaceful, orderly, and responsible dissolution of the United States federal government. You can find out more here. You can find an event near you here. Whoever has the top comment on this post after 24 hours can claim a free signed copy of FREEDOM! by sending me a message with their address.

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Everyone should give this a read, even if they never plan on being a parent.

thank you for consistently getting info like this out there

Thank you for reading and supporting!

I have four, one is nearly an adult (in my eyes he is). We negotiate with our children. It isn't always easy, and they hurt each other a lot. When they hurt each other, they can get pretty brutal about it too.

They are not getting that from us as their parents, so I'm not sure where it is coming from. Maybe that is part of the problem with media these days and video games, or maybe they are learning it from their peers or teachers. I'm just not sure. It is a constant battle though.

We ask them to do something, and they do not want to do it? I'll offer to pay. The house can be a disaster from their regular play, and amazingly it will be all picked up and organized in a few short minutes when $5 is the prize for whoever does the most work.

They just need the right incentives to do what we want them to do. That is the same truth behind Human Action and the entire world economy too. The incentive should not be from fear of violence however. Well, even that brings up a gray area. If someone attacks them, they are allowed to defend themselves within reason.

Therefore a violent counter attack is actually a good incentive for people not to use aggression.

Great points, stop the abuse now!

Apply the NAP to children and those most vulnerable!

Oh wow, interesting perspective, so much different than I was raised.

Yes, we have to change the paradigm!

Psychological abuse is much more of a concern. It is malignant, has long-term consequences and is often completely invisible for the outside world.

If a parent is belittling their child, no teacher, doctor, close friend or relative would see anything wrong with the child. Many parents are belittling their children, killing their self-esteem. Later, these children become bullied in school, and face social withdrawal. They can also have education and professional development issues owing to their partial isolation. They will always feel guilty and pity and are likely to fail in their career path, even though they are mentally fit for success.

I am a case of such a child. My parents always wanted to keep their in-house authority only for themselves. They were always right, and never cared about my opinions and my feelings.

I mostly recovered from that, but coping with this experience is a very hard and long-running battle within oneself. Survivors of bad parenting styles such as authoritarian and so-called helicopter parenting need to undergo psychiatrist treatments. They will struggle much more than children of similar capabilities who were respected by their parents. And these foul parents will never see their guilt, and will never regret.

Thank you for sharing with such passion and insight! I really appreciate it! Many of us are still undoing the damage, it can take a lifetime.

Stop the abuse!

Nice post brot @adamkokesh
happy home👪

Yes we need healthy homes to promote freedom loving children!

incredible 👏

I'm digging this perspective. Ultimately if I were a parent, I would teach principles that have been beneficial to my life. I like the idea of responding with logic and refraining from violence. I've noticed that children (especially when they are walking and talking) tend to respond well when you speak to them like adults. I'd assume this also helps them to mature as they can naturally develop that sense of identity and independence.

Great post here @adamkokesh. I'd love to hear your thoughts about my recent post: How To Fuel Flirtation And Ignite Irresistible Interactions