Diary Of an Eligible Bachelor

I am a BACHELOR!!!

Ok, last time I checked, this wasn't a sin right???

I mean with all the wisecracks and all the accusations on a daily basis that I am a player and by extension playing with the hearts of those hopeful sisters. (In case you are wondering, I plead the Fifth - Not sure if it works in Nigeria though and definitely not with my mother) Still I guess it is not a sin being single.

Sometimes I wonder though as I never seem to get some rest except when I am locked up in my apartment with my phone switched off. And this seems to last only until my very wonderful mum is done cooking and calls me to come and eat which she in the very same breath follows up with the "Better go and marry so that your WIFE will cook for you" speech. So even in that I really am not safe.

From my 'Ogas' in the office trying to hook me up with the eligible single ladies with delectable backsides who of course know that when the talk is on, they are to give it an extra roll while walking away and forming shy, to the ladies who by themselves see dreams and visions or even go as far as reciting the benefits of settling down with them. (Seriously, I have had one tell me that she will never say no to "Calibration" - if you ask me the meaning, Na who I go ask)

So today, someone asked me what I was looking for in a woman. Honestly, I had a very ready answer for him but found it a little difficult to put into words. As much as I like the whole voluptuous package, as in manchester and arsenal things with Kim Kardashian curves, soft spoken and very submissive, Godfearing and all the normal cliches as mentioned by every guy in the known universe, I think all I want is a ZING!!! A connection that time and tide will not take away, Someone whose eyes I will look into and ask "Where have you been all my life???" Basically, I want the kinda love affair I see on TV.

I mean if they can have that, is it too much to ask???

Ok, I just pinched myself back to reality. All I want in addition to all the usual male cliches is a wife that loves pounded yam and egusi soup like I do. SHIKENA!!!

*Pls note that the images are just random images that serve to represent my thoughts.