Sit yourself down. I'm about to learn you a thing or two

Dear steemit community. I am about to introduce you to one of my passions. No. My life style choice. Here's the deal. If you aren't from the Pacific Northwest of the US of A you have no chance of ever having one of the most amazing things on this here planet earth.

I'm going to break it down for you, because I can feel the skepticism radiating off of some of you dear readers. So this post will be jam packed full of information.

Now hear me out. Here it is. A MOTHER FUCKIN HERMISTON OREGON WATERMELON.

Don't be afraid, don't click away. This is about to get sciencfied on your asses. Now this is (arguably) the best watermelon in existence. I know what you're thinking. How can I possibly know that. Well here's some insight into my vast watermelon knowledge. I traveled. A lot. As a child. And as any good child, I was a stubborn eater. So all the wonderful places we went with unique and delightful food, I wouldn't eat any of it. And my parents had to feed me fruit and cheese. So I had a diet of watermelon, pineapple and cheddar cheese for most of my summer vacations as a child through my teen years.

A lot of the places we went were tropical and the fruit they had was amazing. Really so sweet and delicious. This watermelon is better than any I've ever had. Now don't cry foul and say I'm biased because I am from the Pacific Northwest. But if there was a better watermelon anywhere I would find it. I would eat it. And this post would be about that. There isn't (in my books) and this one deserves all the praise in the universe.

Again. How can I claim this is so great. It's just grown like any other watermelon, right? FALSE! (Here's the science part) Hermiston Oregon is located in a vary unique location.

I'm sure you've all heard of the Yellowstone hot spot or "super volcano". It's been in various books and movies. And is stated to be around 40,000 years over due for a big boom which would destroy the world. But I digress. This hot spot moves.

Over a few million years it has moved from under Oregon/Washington, to Idaho, and is currently in Wyoming where you can see it heat up and spout off at old faithful geyser. Which is a breathtaking event and I suggest you put it on your bucket list.

Now why does this matter? I'm sure you're all waiting with baited breath, or you know the answer. Volcanos do one thing very well, besides destroying civilizations. They make some kick ass fertile soil. Think of the best of the best. The cream of the crop. That's this soil. And that's why the Northwest is full of farms. We can grow some banging shit because the soil is sooooooo nutritious.

This wonder soil (also found in Hawaii and throughout Europe and Asia around where active volcanos once were) just seems to make the watermelon extra juicy and sweet. And I don't mean "super sweet". On a scale of normal watermelon this is 100 times better. It isn't just sweet. It's watermelon sweet. It tastes like 1,000 watermelons have come together in your mouth to give your tastebuds the ride of their life.

I'm not the only one who feels this way. Throughout my state the produce managers and fruit stand attendees are bombarded for months before watermelon season even starts, about where the damn Hermiston melons are. The signs go up the Day the trucks come in and the people descend upon the select chosen stores like a swarm of watermelon loving locusts.

If you are lucky enough, like I am, to live somewhat close to Hermiston and you drive past it this time of year, which I've done many times you will see signs along the interstate announcing that they have the melons out! I'm not kidding. Hand made brightly colored signs announcing the small town is ready for the drivers to take them by storm.

I have seen cars going full speed on the interstate go crazy and find a way to turn around just to get these melons. I'm sure it is very unsafe, but I don't care. It's necessary.

I had a friend (I admit her taste in food is average) who hated watermelon. Until she tasted these bad boys. She's hooked. She's obsessed. They're all she will buy when watermelon is in season. I took one to a party she was having once, and I shit you not, someone stole the second half of the watermelon we hadn't cut up that was waiting in the fridge to go home with me. I was livid. No one would own up to it. But after that day they knew to not steal my watermelon again. I think they were scared of me. And I got a new nickname. "The crazy watermelon girl". Which, let's be real, is a badge of honor.

These watermelons are life. These watermelons are love.