HOW TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF

• What it means to focus on yourself.

To focus on yourself means to put your own needs first, even if you may be conditioned to people-please or abandon yourself for the sake of others.

• Find some form of solitude every day.
  As you embark on a journey of self-discovery and focusing on yourself, Torrent suggests finding some solitude each and every day. "In this case, truly focusing on yourself might mean giving up the apps and anything else that might divert your attention away from you," he adds.

• Get to know your inner voice.
  What Torrent calls your "intrinsic goodness," others might call your inner voice. Whatever you call it, think of it like your highest self. As professional intuitive Tanya Carroll Richardson previously explained to mbg, "It's that wise part of you that can float high above the details of the moment, your own emotions, and the emotions of others to get an eagle-eye, more objective perspective on a situation," she says. When you can get in touch with your inner voice, who you really are will become more clear.

• Take calculated risks.
  If you've been putting others first for what seems like forever, the idea of focusing on yourself can feel foreign and even scary. But according to Torrent, doing a scary, risky, or otherwise different thing is likely exactly what you've been missing if you've been ignoring yourself and your needs.

• Figure out what makes you respect yourself.
  To focus on yourself will subsequently allow you to cultivate a genuine respect for who you are. And according to doctor of psychology Danielle Dowling, Psy.D., you'll want to consciously look within and question what practices make you feel your absolute best. "Then," she says, "pay yourself the respect of prioritizing them daily," adding, "For example, exercising regularly, starting every day with a green juice, and being under the covers by 10 p.m. are all ways I show myself respect."

• Be honest about who you are and who you aren't.
  When you begin focusing on yourself and getting to know yourself better, you'll learn a lot about yourself—but also unlearn. If you've been people-pleasing for some time, you may come to some harsh realizations around how you've been lying to yourself or abandoning your truth.

As Dowling writes, "Lead with honesty. This means that if you know working outdoors at a farm sanctuary is what you're here to do, then you have no business working 9 to 5 at a desk job for the next decade," adding, "You're disrespecting your talents and interests, and you're keeping the desk job from someone who'd actually excel in that position."

• Make a bucket list.
  One of the best parts about focusing on yourself again is getting back in touch with the things that excite you, inspire you, and give you something personal to look forward to. To that end, Torrent recommends making a bucket list of experiences you'd like to have in your life. The practice itself could be revealing, and then you can give yourself the gift of checking things off the list.

• Figure out (and keep) your boundaries.
  Having firm boundaries is going to be essential if you truly want to focus on yourself. The truth is, not everyone will understand your newfound sense of independence, and opportunities to fall back on people-pleasing behavior will present themselves.