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RE: Finish the Story - Week 44!

in #finishthestory6 years ago (edited)

This is such a wonderful way to go with it. The ending, just bam, comes straight in with the impact, and you never even actually say it! Just so fantastically done, you force a moment of introspection on the reader, thinking about how this is what was revealed to him, and thrown in the light of the faces of the one he perceived as his enemy, his mother, his son, and a face yet unknown, brings a deeper caution. There is a very cathartic release in there, his rage sated. Although, you create a wonderful, was his rage really to do with his enemy, or was it his own, redirected to someone else. You tell a fable of reflection, and introspection leading to contentment, which seems so very fitting for the setting of the first half.

Edit: Oh my word, and i nearly forgot the mention the wonderful use of language, this bit just really got me:

eyes stray among the stars

such a poetic way to describe it!

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After reading your entry and your little add-in at the end in which you mention your love of fables, I'm deeply honored that you call my entry a fable, haha! I'm glad you've found all this in my story, and that you find it fitting with the prompt : )

Thanks for a marvelous comment and for the compliments on my use of language!