Wordsmiths Fiction Week 2: Season 24 – The Envelope

in #fiction-s24wk22 months ago

Hey Steemians! I'm excited to share my entry for Week 2 of the Steemit Challenge Season 24 Under Team Wordsmiths. The prompt of this week truly sparked my imagination, a mysterious visitor, an abandoned gas station, and a secret from the past waiting to be uncovered.

I continued the story from the given scenes, weaving stories filled with excitement, emotion and redness. I hope I read it the same way I write it.

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AI Generated Image


Here’s my story:

Diego's hands shook slightly as he picked up a white envelope behind the ice machine. The cold metal in the freezer was pressed against the skin, and for a while the world seemed unnaturally silent

He looked around. Everything was still under the flickering neon lights at the gas station. A soft breeze stirred up the coffee cup thrown at the pump. In the distance, it cuts through the heavy night air with the owl.

Carefully, Diego tore open the envelope. Inside was a single photograph.

It was two boys, one of them unmistakable, and the other showed an unknown face. But something about the other boy felt anxiously familiar, like a half-eyed dream figure.

Diego turned the photo over. Scrawled on the back were just a few chilling words:
You forgot me. But I never forgot you.

A shiver ran down Diego’s spine. He studied the background of the photo. It looked like an old playground, dusty fields, worn out swings, and a broken soccer goal.

"Who is he?" Diego muttered under his breath.

When he showed the photo to his supervisor, the man barely looked up from his old computer and just laughed. "People are weird, Diego. Don't think about that much."

But Diego could not help it.

Later that night, curiosity plagued him, he decided to check the safety documents. His heart raced when he hurt the tape again. So on the screen he saw him go to the ice machine.

But there was no sign of a car pulling up.
No man dropping anything.
The envelope... it just appeared.

The next night, Diego was ready. At exactly 2:17 a.m. The rusted blue sedan pulled into the lot once again. Without hesitating, Diego rushed outside toward the car.

But when he approached, his mind was falling, the driver's seat was completely empty.
The engine was run quietly and summed up, but there was no one inside.

Diego's phone was lively before he could decide what to do. The number of non-blinking flashed on the screen.

One new message:

"Get in. Finish what you started."

His throat was dry and Diego hesitated. But it seemed that an invisible force had driven it forward.
He opened the door and slid into the driver's seat.

As soon as he installed the seat belt, the car ran and kicked out of the station. The headlights sweep through abandoned highways.

The drive was silent on asphalt in addition to a constant tire total. Diego's palms sweated as the scenery passed by. A few minutes later, the car slowed down and drove in front of an abandoned building, an old school. Diego was quickly recognized.

Memories he had long buried resurfaced in a flood.

  • A younger Diego
  • A playground
  • And A boy Ben

Ben had been his friend, a lonely kid who had clung to Diego for support. But one day, after a heated argument, Ben had run off, furious and heartbroken.

Ben never came back. People said he had switched schools or moved away.But deep down, Diego had always carried a gnawing guilt.

The school loomed ahead, dark and broken.
Taking a deep breath, Diego stepped inside. His every footstep echoed in the empty halls. Dust swirled in the faint moonlight streaming through broken windows.

In the main corridor, a locker stood a jar. Inside was another envelope.

This one had just two words: "Set me free."

Tears welled up in Diego’s eyes as he read it.
He dropped to his knees and whispered,
"I’m sorry, Ben. I never meant to leave you alone."

A sudden gust of cold winds passed through the hall, pushing out a single hollow bell game somewhere in the old school bell. At that moment, Diego felt a heavy sensation in his chest. This is a load he didn't realize he had worn for years.

When he returned to the gas station at dawn, everything was fine again. The rusted sedan was gone. The envelope was gone.
The strange occurrences all vanished as if they had never happened.

But Diego knew the truth. He had freed a restless soul. And in doing so, had finally found peace with the darkest corner of his past.


Thank you for taking the time to read my story!
I really enjoyed crafting this mysterious journey and letting my imagination run free.

At the end I would like to invite my @suboohi @aaliarubab, @faran-nabeel @sitaraindaryas to participate in this challenge.

Wishing all fellow writers the best of luck in this week's challenge! Stay creative and keep dreaming

Best Regards,

Abdul Sameer

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Hello @sameer7, thank you so much for taking part in Week-2 of the Steemit Challenge - Season 24! We truly appreciate the time and creativity you put into your entry. Your assessment, including feedback and scores based on our evaluation criteria, is provided below.

CriteriaMarks
Story Setting & Word-Building: You started on a grand note "Diego's hands shook slightly as he picked up a white envelope behind the ice machine. The cold metal in the freezer was pressed against the skin, and for a while the world seemed unnaturally silent" That had all the elements of grand buildup2.5/3
Theme & Message: I was wondering what could this mean. " he decided to check the safety documents. His heart raced when he hurt the tape again. So on the screen he saw him go to the ice machine." What tape hurt him?1/2
Formatting & Presentation: It's okay1.5/2
Originality & Uniqueness: You said, "But Diego knew the truth. He had freed a restless soul. And in doing so, had finally found peace with the darkest corner of his past." You didn't describe how it started and what was that darker past. That would make this story perfect.2.5/3
Total7.5/10

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