You're a good mother or father. You've painstakingly raised your children, with all the right capitalist ideals in mind. The benefits of the free market are the strongest princples of their childhood growth. But as they grow older, things change...

When confronted, they claim they're merely imitating Karl Marx for a school project. How can you be sure they aren't looking to abolish the federal government? Today most teenagers communicate in hieroglyphs and verbose that slips past your radar! Fear not folks, I've gathered together a group of experts to decipher their lingo for you, learn once and for all whether your nightmarish fantasies about the gulag are justified.

Too much to keep up with? Just remember...