KISSING IN RELATIONSHIP AND COURTSHIP

Pastor, can we kiss? Is kissing a sin? That is a question on the lips of many young people who are serving God, but cannot seem to keep away from kissing each other as an expression of their love.

True to it, and as a counselor, I know there are many Christians who are doing this regularly. As a young man myself in courtship, I never had sex with my fiancée then, but I kissed her a few times and I really felt guilty about it. In fact, the feeling I had was that the Holy Spirit was grieved at it. So, I am not oblivious of what you are going through exactly.

Now, having been married for some years, about nineteen years, I can tell you, that the strong urge to kiss as singles is just more of the devil trying to trip you than an expression of love! Folks in western countries might find this ridiculous as well, since they are more liberal and they often greet as well with no lust attached.

Some of us go ahead and quote the scripture to justify this act. Well, in a very a straight forward way, you will never find a scripture that forbids kissing or that says, “thou shall not kiss.” In fact what you find are scriptures that seems to be encouraging kissing, and that in the New Testament!

All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. (1 Corinthians 16:20 KJV)

Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. (Romans 16:16 KJV)

Doesn’t this mean that God wants us to kiss?

The instruction to kiss that we see in the above verses and in some more places are verses that we have to consider in their cultural contexts.

The Jews usually greet one another with a kiss, somewhat on the cheek and not a direct mouth-to-mouth kiss or some French kiss

This is why Judas kissed Jesus Christ. He was just greeting him. It’s like a handshake.

And while he yet spake, behold a multitude, and he that was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them, and drew near unto Jesus to kiss him. (Luke 22:47 KJV)

Kisses with Jews as described above is a form of greeting in their culture, hence Paul termed it as holy kissing.

In Nigeria, we don’t kiss one another with a kiss. Hence, the Jewish kiss is holy, but the Nigerian kiss is not holy! In non–Jewish states, a kiss outside wedlock between two people who are in love, behind closed doors will not be holy because it will lead to some unholy things!

The initial kiss might even be holy, but after a while, the law of progression will step in and before you know it, kissing will lead to some other things.

If I come into a meeting with my wife and an usher grabs my wife and plants a kiss on her, I will remove my suit and fight! Why? We don’t greet each other with some mouth-to-mouth kiss! If your handshake dey too long sef, I fit suspect you, not to talk of a kiss!

If you and your fiancée are kissing each other behind the church and as your pastor, I bump into you, who will apologise? It’s you! If as your Pastor, I’m kissing my wife behind the church, and you bump into us, who will still apologise? It is still you! Because we are married!

You see after marriage, if you want to kiss yourself 24 hours a day for the next one month; God is okay with it! Why? Your body belongs to each other! But after marriage, you will know that it is not all about kissing! It is about school fees, and house rent and pampers! You won’t feel like kissing all the time! So why would you want to jeopardise your relationship with God with what you can do as long as you want eventually?

The idea of holding on is where maturity is, and it is all about self-control. This is what separates the boys from the men! Ability to delay gratification!

Young ladies, when a guy comes and says, “let’s kiss,” you don’t submit your lips like you are submitting paper in examination hall. The power of life and death lies in your mouth! If the guy is hungry, why must it be your mouth that he would eat? If he is really hungry, doesn’t he know where they sell Kpomo (treated cowhide) in the market?

For married people, feel free to kiss yourselves! Your spouse should love it, then go ahead and give it! It won’t be a sin!

But for singles, always have this at the back of your mind that when you are in love, what you did with him or her, the last time you met will not satisfy you the next time! It is a law, so you need to consciously guard against that.

Finally, let me say, it is not wise to meet somebody and the next thing is that you are kissing! There are people you kiss, and your jaws are locked. There are people you kiss, and as it were, you cannot pray again. There are strange mouths you kiss for five minutes, and it leads to regrets for the next five years! There are poeple you kiss, and your destiny is arrested. If you doubt that, ask Jesus, for it was the kiss of Judas that led to his arrest!

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have understanding of God's word and I have self control

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, teach me self control by your Spirit

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A man without self- control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Proverbs 25:28 ESV)

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
If you have been kissing outside wedlock, decide to stop today