Practicing Self-Compassion Day 3
The Benefits of Self-Compassion
Self-compassion has many benefits. People who practice self-compassion tend to experience lower levels of depression and anxiety. They tend to ruminate less and tend to be more motivated to learn about themselves. They're also less fixated on gaining the approval of others and less afraid of making mistakes.
People who have high levels of self-compassion have reduced emotional reactions to negative events. They are buffered against negative self-judgments and painful emotions when recalling social events. Their emotions are easily regulated after receiving unpleasant social feedback. They also tend to acknowledge their role in negative events without feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions. Source
A study also shows that people who practice self-compassion had positive lifestyle behaviors such as exercise, regular sleep, healthy eating habits and use of stress management techniques. Source:
How I Practiced Self-Compassion Today
I am currently using the book The Self-Compassion Skills Workbook: A 14 Day Plan to Transform Your Relationship with Yourself by Tim Desmond. Tim Desmond is a psychotherapist who was a student of Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. I felt like I needed this book and wanted to see if it would improve self-compassionate behaviors on my part.
The book shows a Self-Compassion Map. You start with the Self-Compassion Body Scan where you assess your emotions and bodily sensations. Depending on what you are feeling, you will then be directed to do other exercises.
At the start of the exercise, I had a backache that I was feeling along my spine. My left arm was aching as well. I also had some tension in my jaw and face. I was also having the feeling of anxiety.
I listened to the recorded meditation instructions starting from the Body Scan and the steps after that up until I got to the "Embracing Suffering" section. In this section, there is an exercise called "Receiving Compassion from Someone Else." In this exercise, you picture someone or something and visualize this person or thing loving and accepting you.
I imagined a sentient being made of white light. The instructions then said to imagine this being saying to me, "May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe. May you be loved."
As I went through the exercise, I noticed the tension and unpleasant sensations I was experiencing either disappeared or lessened. I also started feeling happy and noticed myself smiling.
I expected my anxiety to lessen and some uncomfortable sensations to weaken but I did not expect my backache to almost completely go away. I thought I was going to have it until the exercise was finished. I got to admit I was weirded out by this! I'm not really sure how this happened and if other people are going to have the same experience that I just had with the exercise.
I do sense more self-compassion after going through the exercises. This is my second day going through the exercises in the book and I will keep using it and post the results in the future.
This post is not meant to replace therapy. If you need help handling your thoughts and feelings, please consult a licensed professional.
Hope you were able to get some benefit out of this post.
May you have a meaningful life.
Please check these related posts:
Practicing Self-Compassion Day 1
Practicing Self-Compassion Day 2
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Love it :) Just started a self love practice myself.
What kind of things do you do to practice?
For me, I am really big on feelings, so I do a simple meditation where I try to feel love for myself while feeling myself receiving the love I am putting out. You can increase/decrease the intensity depending on how much effort you want to put in.
Thanks for sharing, glad you are doing this. When you practice self love (or compassion), you are giving a gift to the world.
Thanks @metama. Aside from the practice I mentioned in this post, I also practice loving kindness meditation. It's wishing myself and others well saying to myself and other in this world phrases like "May we be happy" and "May we know peace."
The practice that you mentioned seems interesting. I'll try it. It seems like a different version of loving kindness meditation.
When you practice self love, you are definitely giving a gift to the world. Because you become a better person to others as well.
A great practice - compassion. Whether for self or others.
A lot of people think when we have compassion for others it's for the "other" person but in fact it is for ourselves. And compassion for oneself is obviously for ourselves.
Compassion is the abstract way of being able to empathise with someone when we don't understand their circumstances. It releases us.
Compassion for self is the antidote to judgment - from whence suffering comes.
I wrote a trilogy of posts on a genius way to deal with bullies and compassion (in this case for the other) is very valuable there. For when we've dealt successfully with the bully we still have to process and release their stress and suffering that has been put onto us. And that they are bullying us is because they are suffering themselves.
Thanks for your reply @petervroom. Compassion for others definitely increases our compassion for ourselves. If we spend time helping people who are suffering and in pain, we notice that we are not alone in our struggles. We notice that we are all in this together.
Compassion does soften judgment towards ourselves and others.
I do believe that all of us become aggressive towards others sometimes because we mishandle our suffering. I will check your posts about dealing with bullies. Although I'm not getting bullied currently (Hopefully I don't ever anymore!) it might come in handy in the future.
Cheers!
That's very true that its not meant to replace therapy, then again, sometimes having a positive outlook from this does help in some ways with healing.
Right @alvinauh. Practicing these methods will help with healing. Although, if someone's still struggling with their thoughts and feelings after practicing these methods they are better off getting help. They can then continue with these practices with the help of a therapist.
Thanks for the reply. Cheers!
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Depression and anxiety can be really harmful for the mind and it also reflects to the body with various sicknesses. Self-compassion can definitely help you fix many things in life, because you start to become a much more positive person. When there's little to no stress and anxiety, we can experience life in different colors.
Loving your self is very important, yet it's overlooked by most people, because everyone's consumed by their daily life. We often think worse of ourselves, which leads to many bad consequences. Appreciating yourself is a good first step to living a better, more positive life :)
I really enjoyed reading your experience!
Thank you for your reply @trendo. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my post.
Self-compassion does help ease depression and anxiety and loving ourselves is definitely important. You do become a better person and become more positive. It's my hope that more of us practice this constantly.
Cheers!
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