To all of you non-Harvard graduates

Mark Zuckerberg proposed, at the recent Harvard commencement ceremony, that the nation institute a universal income policy.

Left unsaid was that it you non-Harvard educated minions should pay for it with your taxes.

I speak to you today, fellow never applied for or accepted to Harvard citizens, and propose that Mark Zuckerberg buy his wife another couch and give this one to the so deserving poor in lieu of the proposed tax payer sponsored initiative.