I'm still alive: The story of traffic
So you're crawling along in rush hour traffic listening to Alive by Pearl Jam for the 1000th time, and you hear the faint sound of a siren. "Is it part of the song?" you quickly wonder before realizing this is real life and begin to pull over. So amidst the traffic you manage to squeeze your way into a spot and clear the left lane.
You look to your left and see a guy in a Toyota Yaris who thinks because his car is small he doesn't need to pull over. Or maybe this is his first time seeing a firetruck? Surely he knows the drill, he looks around forty-five. The fire engine will be able to squeeze through right? Wrong; you are idiot number one. as the fire engine drives up it honks its horn, giving him permission to speed forward into the middle of the intersection to get out of the way. However, he continues to sit still, dumbfounded, looking back and forth with his arms in the air. Finally, he realizes the road ahead is clear. As if by magic, all the other cars are out of his way. Great. He makes his move forward into the middle of the intersection. This will almost cause an accident later as he drives in a circle to avoid making the left turn that he has positioned himself for. The firetruck passes the Yaris, only having to run over the boulevard to do so. Off to save lives.
As the truck passes there is always that hero who has been waiting for this moment his whole life and steps on the gas to tail the firetruck. This guy usually drives a souped up Honda Civic, and is imagining he's Vin Diesel from fast and the furious. He follows the firetruck through the red light hugging the bumper as if hes starting a konga line. He has shaved 10 seconds off his life and is once again stuck in traffic 22 cars up.
After the truck speeds of you awkwardly start to pull the nose of your car back onto the road before slamming your foot on the break because a real special kind of asshole in a lifted gun metal black truck has quickly pulled up from directly behind you into your spot. Immediately after the firetruck passed he quickly pulled back onto the road to jockey one car ahead in position. He then sits there nonchalantly while your car is stuck half on the curb of the street, and glances over to look at you as if to say "sorry was this your spot? It was open". He then persists to stare straight ahead and ignore your feeble atempt to inch to the left to re enter your lane. Your only salvation lies in the curse that is placed on the drivers that jockey for position after a firetruck passes. One day when they need help it might not arrive in time.
As he rolls ahead others continue to drive behind while not letting you pull back onto the road. Your turn signal is on, and you are preparing for the friendly wave, but the opporutunity never comes. These people shamefully glare at you as if you are the deplorable person who has caused the slow moving traffic today. After the light ahead has turned green twice you are finally able to re-enter as traffic lightens and continue on your way home, and you can finally go back to the song "Oh, I'm still alive...".