I'm back

in #diary6 years ago (edited)

halloween header-01.png

Guess who's back! Hi everyone, so a lot has happened since I last posted, basically I haven't been up-to-date at all in here. But I've felt like writing these last few days. In fact, I've been feeling very inspired in general, I'm just not sure what to do with all this inspiration. So, I've decided to do as much as I can, I mean, why not? It's hard for me to be constant at one thing, let alone everything else I want to do. And then, sometimes, I just feel like I have to take advantage of all of this energy and do it all. Also, I just want a change in my environment. I feel like I need to communicate with other people, or at least feel free to write all this nonsense without being judged by the people that constantly read me in other social media. It seems like it's a lot of pressure to expose myself lately and I just don't want any of it, nor I want to feel like I'm doing anything to please anybody other than myself. At the end, none of it means anything if it doesn't come from the very core of my heart and soul. I've always believed everything I do is very honest, but that always leads to somebody having something to say about it, and I know it is bound to happen, but suddenly it started to piss me off because it felt like I wasn't being taken seriously. I've been working my butt off this year and the last, I've been growing and learning and making mistakes, just like everyone else, and I've gotten rid of those people whom I felt gave nothing or very little to me, always trying to give everyone a chance. But I just can't stand when people take everything as a joke, and when it turned into taking me as a joke. I just felt pissed and lost, I felt like my home wasn't even my home, like I didn't know where I was or where I belonged, it was so uncomfortable. Which lead me to focusing in myself only, in anything that makes me happy. And I found myself again, in my music, in my make-up, in my clothes, in my work, in the people I love. I gave myself another chance. I guess as long as we're constantly growing and recognizing what we have or need to fix, we are always allowed chance.

On another note, we're getting so close to halloween, and I'm so excited. I always love anything with a theme, specially if it means dressing up. But this time, I've decided to confront my fears and watch as many scary movies as I can. Because sleepovers with your loved one aren't anything without some scary movies, am I right?

Anyways, thanks for reading, whoever is out there.

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