Self forgiveness 3- being a mean person

in #desteni8 years ago

Desteni.Org

Self forgivenss is funny

Sometimes I don't know what I'm going to do self forgivness on or how I will forgive myself but I know the format and I just say it, think it, write it, and then see what happens or how to live my correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be confused by how mean I am through my programming where I thought I was a good person growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be confused because I thought I was a good kid and a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel confused because I only remember a few really mean things I ever did to other's and can rember my justification for all of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress how mean I am towards life through justification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress how mean I am through twisting the narrative to paint myself as innocent anyway possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to paint a picture of myself to myself that I am unquestionable even when I do try to question myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when my mean and cruelty come out and I cannot see myself as innocent or perfect any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the good nature of me and my memories falling apart when I see my hate and evil I accept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my ruthless nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my ruthless nature getting out of hand.

When and as I see myself shcoked in reaction to how vile, and mean I am towards life in self intrest, I stop, I breathe, I realize this selfish nature is not who I am but a program of survival as energy and ego, thus, I commit myself to embrace my ruthlessness to support myself to thrive in the current system, but I also, commit myself to be the best I can be for myself and other's equally in stopping hate and nastiness i have created.

I redeine rutheless as a skill of getting what I want within the system as it is.

I redefine ruthless as not good or bad.

I redefine ruthless as getting to the point and getting things done no matter what.

I commit myself to not be acting out ruthlessly towards others based on emotional and judgement.

I commit myself to not attack other's on a personal ego level as long as I can in any reasonable defenition stop myself from doing it.