I understand that you might be depressed and have a hard time dealing with the vicissitudes of life.

Do you think you are playing it too safe that's causing you to feel depressed?

If life is meant to be a suffering, then why we all make the best use of the suffering by taking on more risk? In your case, why don't you enroll in an affordable community college to meet people and at the same time learn new stuff?

If money is an issue, there are tons of free material online. Suicide is an easy way to "solve" to escape from problems.