Beyond the label; Navigating stigma and finding empowerment

Stigma huh?

Dealing with stigma and overcoming it can be a lot to grapple with. Most persons who have had to deal with one form of stigma or the other always live with it and it’s a very challenging experience.

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Some years ago I knew a neighbor of mine who was very sick and the sickness had taken it toll on him and he was very lean over time looking like a bag of skeletons. His hair was also falling off and soonest people began to gossip about him and saying he had HIV/AIDS.

Everyone avoided him on sight and no one would want to have anything to do with him or the family members. After a long while he died. Well, one would have thought that that would have been the end of the drama but no it continued.

The rumor of his sickness had spread and everyone was also avoiding the family members too simply because they thought if he died of AIDS, then the family members would have it too.

They were literally austracised. They couldn’t bear the stigma anymore and they had to move out of the vicinity. Its was a pitiful state to be in.

A distant relative of mine has issues with being a kleptomaniac for so many years. She would steal anything that comes her way even when she doesn’t have need of it.

She came to stay with us some years ago and we noticed that some of our things were missing. Prior to that time, we have heard that she steals a lot. We would go to her bag on many occasions to see the missing items and retrieve them. When you question her on why she has no excuse to give.

She knew we were searching her bags for the missing items and decided to change her strategy of hiding them. This time around she stole my shirts and I was looking for them.

One moment they were here and the next gone missing. I searched everywhere to no avail, I asked her and she said she didn’t take them. We lived on a two storey building, one day I was sweeping the compound and stairs and saw a bundle tied and hidden under the stairs, I untied it and in the nylon was my clothes and some other of my siblings stolen by this girl.

On confronting she kept mute and had nothing to say. That was when we knew it was time to send her packing. She left our house but that was not the end. She couldn’t stay in any of our relatives house in the city. She was bundled back to the village.

We kept hearing stories of her stealing escapades. Almost everyone in the village knew her as troublesome, lazy and a thief then.

Well times have changed and she has stopped stealing but the stigma is still with her. Nobody wants to take her into their house anymore neither is she married.

The last time I saw her, she was desperately talking about how she wants to come to the city but the question is who would take her?

Nobody believes she has changed and the stigma is still with her. And to make the matters worse, people would always tease her with that make reference to her past.

One of the ways to overcome stigmas would be to relocate. Change environment to solace people do know you and start afresh.

Another way would be to be compassionate to yourself and treat yourself well by focusing on yourself rather than your weaknesses. We’ve all had issues in the past, some more challenging than the other. Loving yourself more would be of great help. Embrace your true self.

Another would be seek professional help in dealing with emotional trauma and join a community of people who have passed through the same stigma, who would accept you and help you through your healing process.

Dealing with stigma can be a lot and it would be ok if we relate kindly with those who are struggling with stigmas of any sort.