Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again....

will not eventually lead to a different ending. When you repeat the same actions, the result is usually pretty similar

I have known this to be true, for quite some time. I mean, it is common sense. Each action causes a reaction.

A few days ago, had you asked me what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, I would have told you, "I want to travel. I want to live. I want to be content." The way I have done this in the past has been through teaching, delving into philosophy and religion and monetizing myself or my ideas in whatever fashion made the most sense at the time. Time and time again, this model has not added up to a collective contented feeling nor my ability to travel.

This is all I want for my life, is that so bad?

What We Want Is Rarely What We Want

When I was thinking about what to do with my life in the last week, I came up with confusion. I remembered a while ago that I was talking to a student and instructing them to put the one major need in a box. When we have a lot of goals, especially if they don't match up with one another, life can get chaotic really quick. I may teach working with natural magick, showing people how to manifest and then to simplify, as just one way of incorporating the divine into their daily lives... I had to take a moment to look at my own daily rituals. Once I did, I realized that something was missing. I want to make a difference, which I know a lot of people do. Once upon a time, this was the basis of living for me. I wanted to make sure that the actions that I took each day were in accordance to my life plans. This meant that I was mindful of what I was doing through the day, as I was doing it. I took the time each day to think about even the simplest of activities and to see the divine in them. It was my little part of "saving the world".

Each action causes a reaction. Unfortunately, people sometimes assume a reaction is because of a certain action.

Just because you do something and something happens, this doesn't mean that the thing you did cause the other thing. Just because actions were taken, this does not ensure that another thing happening at the same time has anything to do with what you did. It's the difference between correlation and causation. It is a whole different diatribe on causality and it is so hard to stay on track already.

Contemplating My Next Move

In my last post, I asked who wanted to learn astrology. No one really responded, which in a way makes me sigh a breath of relief. It stings the ego, but the ego needs to take a shit now and then. I was thinking about all of this and then it hit me... just a random thought out of nowhere.

Let peace begin with you...

Now, it isn't that random of a quote. I mean, peace protestors have been shouting it for years.

Besides, I have dreadlocks, people mistake me for a hippie all the time.

It is one of those quotes that I think about often enough because typically I am not the peaceful type. I am more in your business and rage on your face type. I even got a tattoo on my right arm of the peace dove with an olive branch in the beak. I actually got that so I would remember to make the connection in my mind to think about peaceful actions and to promote peace with my own magick. The right hand, being the hand that pushes or directs energy, this meant that it had to pass through my arm to get to the mark and most of the time I think about peace. I don't use my magick to harm. I spend plenty of time pondering how to make the world a better place and wondering just why I am here. I mean, I have some hardcore suicidal ideation when I am depressed and let's face it, that has been my emote of operandi as of late. But I can't. I wouldn't. This means that I need to do something.

I go to talk to friends and such and a lot of the times I am met with a blank stare. The world doesn't seem to care like it used to. Perhaps it is because I was surrounded by like minds all while I was married. My ex-husband and I were always doing magick stuff, in the community, teaching classes, helping others, planning trips or events. All of the outside of work stuff that we did was in the name of the divine. You'd think we were running a church or something.

Oh wait, we were running a church.

I have been kind of rebuilding all that but it occurs to me, that maybe I don't want to anymore?

I am not sure what I want to do. I know that what I am doing now, it doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I can make a difference but I have been so focused on me. Is this what all people do? Have I been living in a commune of sorts, cut off of from the rest of the world. Do people really not wake up in the morning wondering how they can make a positive difference? People just do stuff and not think about it?

This is what I am starting to think and I don't know how I even feel about it. It's a bit disheartening, but not impossible. I am sure that something positive can be made out of this state of my life right now... I am still in the planning stage.
Sometimes this is the best place to be though. I am happy about the future and possibilities for the future.

Not Everyone Wants to Save the World

I think that this is where I am at, sitting on this realization and wondering what to do with it.

Now, I wonder... has anyone else come to this conclusion?

I have come to find that there are people out there that don't think about things on this level. That doesn't make them less than or anything, I certainly don't say any of this with superiority in my voice (I don't think so, anyway) or to promote a certain kind of thinking. I am almost curious *how* to see things in another light.

I have never been able to enjoy the simple pleasures. I don't like things only because they are pretty without feeling shallow about it. I look for depth, hidden meanings and deeper links or purposes. I seriously thought that everyone thought like this. I got that, my perspective is the world perspective in my head a long time ago and it wasn't easy to shake.

I am working on my perspective and understanding others. I am finding that in this, it is easier to talk and to relate to others. It is also more and more difficult to get mad or to get frustrated with others when I come to realize that they simply are confused or don't get it versus them being stubborn or bigoted (in some cases).

Where Do You Get Your Perspective From?

I am curious to see about how people think and how they view their own perspective. What do you do to make the world a better place and what does that look like to you? Do you need to make big sweeping gestures or do you focus on the positive smaller actions and interactions?