It Takes A Village so what's wrong with asking for help?

in #community7 years ago

It takes a village..


source

We all know this epic saying.

When we're overwhelmed and wish we had more than two hands we can align with this idea.

But what about when you're getting along fine? Does that mean you still couldn't use the help of the village or even more importantly - when you're getting along fine does that give you the right to abandon the village?

Slowly but steadily each person who started making it - did exactly that "made it" and moved up and moved on. We forgot about our tribal nature. We lost our connection to community and exited.

Now I say tribal nature what I'm describing is our need for acceptance and love. We are social beings - nothing feels better than recognition and admiration. Do you really think that many bad people are just born and here to cause harm? No. Most infants are not evil - though their crying may be - no infant reaches out and claws their mothers eyes out for fun or rips off and eats the nipple feeding them. Let's all admit here that "evil", if it truly even exists, is man made. Some people become really fucked up when they feel rejected or are abused. We lash out and try to make others hurt as we hurt. We die from broken hearts and commit suicide because of the hole isolation causes in the soul.

Imagine if we hadn't checked out of the village? If it was still acceptable to love and trust your neighbor? All this liberalism out there puts up a fake front like it's love and acceptance for all but it is not. It whitewashes us all and strips us of our unique role in the tribe. It ostracizes certain roles within the community and breaks us apart into smaller, segregated little boxes, scared of speaking our truths, terrified we might offend someone because they are different from us! How hypocritical!

Imagine if we supported each others unique roles - allowing each to take the lead where necessary? A village is an ecosystem. It is symbiotic human relationships. A cohabitation of many different people on many different levels. There is supposed to be levels. Yes so people are better at certain things - some of us are engineers, builders, tinkerers, artists, songwriters, teachers, parents - whatever - we each have a unique talent and purpose that we are naturally inclined to. Some of us are physically strong, some mentally, some spiritually.. what is wrong with that? This game of life is a learning process. We are ALL teachers of something and students of many things. This needs to be brought back - we could have had self sustained, educated and thriving villages with all the hardworking people in this world.

But instead we drifted apart. Our neighborhood may define us socially, financially, and economically but how many of us actually identify with our community? How many of us know their neighbors - the people who live in your city? It's unheard of in today's world. This world is a survival of the fittest, cut throat, it's me or you place, right? Everyone is out to rob you and take what little you have for themselves. Protect yourself, your family.

But once we were so busy "warding off our thieving neighbors" and without us even realizing, they crept in and stole our most precious possession - our love and compassion, our connection to each other. They divided our tribes so we were too busy watching the pawns fight and missed the Queen sliding in...

Without a tribe we lack a defense network and a support system.


When a family is left to fend for itself they end up isolated, bitter, judgmental, selfish, jealous and stressed out. This is a busy, hard world now - even a fifty years ago it was much slower, families could almost keep up, but now, between the rising costs of living and health problems and the falling wages and social services hardly anyone can keep up. We are all struggling and if we had a tribe to help us bare the weight we would not stuck.

This is where I circle back to the fact that over time people started doing well and exited the tribe. For many reasons - mainly because social engineering is a spectators sport - villages fell apart and support systems broke down. Now the fear of being alone keeps us stuck in unhappy relationships, scarcity locks us in jobs we hate and the thought of "losing it all" and becoming homeless will keep each one of us in line.

But what if we had a community to carry us when we couldn't walk?

  • What if we had a village where construction workers and carpenters built homes for everyone in exchange services they need done?
    If you didn't have the threat of eviction or foreclosure hanging over your head would you quit your miserable job and actually follow your dream?
  • What if we had strong tribes where the women supported and empowered each other?
    Would she still stay with a man she doesn't love just because they have 3 kids and she couldn't make it as a single mom?
  • What if let mothers who want to be stay at home moms run after school programs and daycares instead of forcing them to work because there is no other way for their family to get by?
    Would as many kids be raised by the streets if there were open and welcoming homes to go to without a question in their village?
  • What if we respected our elders and kept them around - no matter how much fiat currency they accumulated during their years, after you reach a certain age you are just respected and taken care of?
  • What if we employed local farmers and took advantage of new clean and sustainable technologies?
    Would you choose to poison your own village - your own people - your own land?

These are all tribal expectations - they transcend time and place and they are for the good of the collective.

We need to bring back the village, the support system and thriving ecosystem.


source - free to use bing search

And with that - in closing - I'll tie this perfectly into Steemit

We are building up tribes on here - I feel I am supported in my talents and efforts. We have the wonderful chance to be accepting here. We admit there are levels to this shit - where the levels are and how they are set up may still need some pruning but we are making it happen. Talents of all walks can teach anyone willing to read their post or watch their video. We have categories where anyone can showcase what they know. But we need to allow intermingling - we need to allow people to make mistakes and be students when they need to be.

I have seen more acts of kindness and compassion on here than I have ever witnessed in the real world. We need to make sure we take these ties of compassion into our real life communities. The only way change will take place is as the bottom level - it has to done from the ground up.

If we can build up healthy communities who help each other over the internet and hundreds or thousands of miles surely we can do it in our own little towns. If we spread out tribe mentality maybe it will end up encompassing the entire world.



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Beautifully stated @amariespeaks. We have a wonderful tribe with our Newbie Resteem family. Very happy you are a part of us! I wish I could upvote you on here, but since I can't, I will stop by with @beeyou. :)

Congratulations you have been resteemed as part of #newbieresteemday's top posts for the day! We invite you to use our tag to connect with more of our members. To learn more: Come Join Us!!! (Newbie Resteem Initiative)

thank you @newbieresteem day! 😊💜

At one point there was mutual respect...then the pilgrims came. Seriously, though, this has been the result of 'civilization', if one would call it that. And, now that the ultimate honor is given to those who donate the most to the up and coming false leaders, it's going to be hard to take our heritage back. But it's a goal that must be achieved, if we are to survive as a caring, loving people. Thank you so very much for sharing these deep thoughts, and for letting us, all, be a part of that future's coming home 'to roost'

thanks so much for your kind words @mamajeani ! You are very right it is a goal that needs to be achieved if we are going to evolve beyond thus materialistic and shallow world.
Here's to being the change! 🙏✌

I really resonate with your first “what if?”. I often feel that our planet would be a better place if my fellow humans were following their bliss! So many are just working some random job for money. We need everyone to find their light and bring it out! And we need a supportive community to give them the space to do so.❤️

What if we help people by warning them if they leave an overpriced iPad on the back seat of the car. That just invites thieves to replace the iPad with a big rock.

People often point at theives, but forget to think about their own behaviour.

Sure, nobody should steal anotherman's overpriced gadgets. But it's cool to say to people... If i was a thief then that gadget would soon be mine....
Or, that wallet is a real challenge for newbie pickpockets as you are lucky enough not to be spotted by a pro.

What if nobody would be poor. Thats a tricky one.
Since there are always those who never have enough.

The wannahave mindset is created by the media/ads.
Once nobody is poor, then everybody should have an 'i have enough crap' mindset.
Maybe this is where we need to start at steemit?
Kill the whales...
Whale suicide?
o boy what am i saying....
When is a whale a whale.
When is equality equal.

Once all whales are dead and we have enough ... hmmm then we ale are plankton? Where does this end?

:D

We all need satisfaction, All we need is satisfaction? When we have satisfaction then we need less useless stuff.

yesss @pretty.dorky I really believe in my soul that a huge percentage of the unhappiness and stress in this world comes in during childhood when your talents, dreams, desires are crushed and you do not feel accepted and valued. If we were allowed to do what we were naturally good at I think the world would be a whole different place!

Now I know what you've been up to! ;) ... Awesome work @amariespeaks, like I have told you before, you are wise for such a young lady! I love it, rs it and am going to see if any other people might like it too!

You're the best! :D

thanks @davemccoy! Yeah I've been writing up a storm lol I put out pt 1 of my prison series so I'm nowcin research mode for pt 2 and thats when all the side ideas come it lol and I get distracted !
Thank you for the rs and I'm glad you liked this one! 😀

I definitely liked this one and glad to see the engine of ingenuity that is your mind is still working properly! :D Keep it up, you have great things to teach the world!

thank you @davemccoy :-D some of the gears are a little dusty but it's running LOL

Just add a little WD40 and it will be running like new again! :D

that was me... I need a little WD40 myself this morning :P

hahaha me too! 3rd cup of coffee - here I come!

I go into overdrive after my 2nd cup of coffee!

lol yup now I'm wondering why I drank so much 😵

That's a good thing to know, thanks for the insight! :P

:P... haha... Mommy going to be bouncing off the ceiling soon! ;)

Your comment got me thinking of the nickel reference on my post. So mum is the word.

lol... my lips are zipped ;)

hahaha

I actually read a post by @ura-soul today about control and the tools that are used to apply this to the masses. I think this post has a very similar theme. Very happy to read this @anmariespeaks! Keep up the great work.

Thank you @moonunit ! I'll have to go check out that post 👍👍 glad you liked my post!

It's strange there is actually a community that has a similar ethos here in Ireland called cloughjordan eco village. They are very much trying to build a community like the one you are describing too. Could be worth looking at too.

I really enjoy your posts @anmariespeaks. They have great flow and you post interesting stuff too.

@moonunit I'm so glad to hear you like my posts! Sometimes I don't know if I'm too all over the place with my topics but thats just how my brain works lol
Oh I may have to relocate my family to Ireland! That is really interesting, I will look it up 😊 thanks!!

😂 I hear you!

I really enjoyed your post. In our area I think people are missing the sense of village and are seeking ways to recreate this feeling. We see it in today’s architecture where new houses now have front porches again. Neighbours can sit on their porches and interact with their neighbours. We all need to feel that we belong and are valued.

@grandam I'm happy to hear front porches are coming back near you. Baby steps! lol We all do really need accpetance and be valued - it starts person to person which makes it simple because you just start being kind and helpful in your everyday life!
Thanks again for reading and taking the time to comment on my post!

Yep, this is true. And when you try and dislodge the "stranger danger" mentality from the common hive mind, you get cognitive dissonance.
Like, look, I'm not naive; I was raised by paranoid New Yorkers and came of age in a shitastic neighborhood where I was regularly chased and stalked by perverts (yes, really), so I'm not saying the world is all sunshine and rainbows. But the fact is, the world is safer now than it used to be (and most of the time if people are assaulted it's by someone they know), yet parents helicopter over their kids and won't let them play in the neighborhood or walk home from school because they think it's "dangerous." It's dangerous if you live in the shitastic neighborhood perhaps, but generally not otherwise. When I was younger we had that all the kids on the block played together and had run of the neighborhood thing. Parents knew each other and all the kids. You knew which house the pervert lived in and didn't go there (yes, we really had a resident peeping tom pervert on the block that everyone knew about - still allowed to play all over). The kids would go visit the elderly lady who lived alone to keep her company, and on Halloween she gave us kids who did full size candy bars, and it was the Halloween highlight. Oh, yeah, and we trick or treated - at homes. Of strangers. We didn't die.
And the world is SAFER now, despite the news and the mass shootings (see the book: The Better Angels Of Our Nature by Steven Pinker). I wish everyone would read that book!
Anyway, I'm kind of digressing, sorry. But nowadays people stay walled up in their homes and the kids' friends are across town and you have playdates, the elderly lady has no company, and everyone is afraid and alone. I really would like us to get back to having community again!

wow @phoenixwren what an awesome comment! I couldn't agree with you more - I definitely know it ain't all sunshine & rainbows. I've had my share of troubles and bad luck but we are allowing these scare tactics to now dictate our lives and society.. it is way safer nowadays! I liked your thoughts on this a lot - thank you for taking the time to comment! 🙏✌

Exactly. I used to have really high anxiety, both from the bad neighborhood experience and because I was a news junkie so always heard about doom and gloom. My life ain't perfect my any means, but since I learned to let that go, I feel much better than when I was afraid to go out at night, or afraid of the dire predictions on the news. It doesn't dictate my life anymore, and I am far better off!

In the fifties and sixties, we walked alone hand in hand to school, and home again. At five I was taught where adults/perverts would be immensely hurt if I struck sure and fast and ran away, so in our village the silly old men were known, and at times like Guy Fawkes, needed to be wary of the older primary kids of nine and ten who might light a three penny banger and frighten them, and tease and run, as we laughing kids could be cruel if we knew a bully. But by young teens I knew every kid within ten mile up to two villages away in any direction by bicycle. We were often the news carriers, not tale-bearers of spite, but real news, like old granma Kennedy fell over and has an arm in a sling, and some adult parent would call in and do her shopping therefrom. We all worked the picking harvest, and not just the farms, but the hedgerows for the old ladies Jam's and chutneys or the old men's sloe wine or elder-flower or berry wine. Villages are wonderful places in which kids can learn a great deal from old vet's and the vet's left at home womenfolk. One old lady showed my gang how to hold birds with car or cat injuries, and let us watch when she bandaged and fed them in her cat proof glasshouse. We stood for hours watching the blacksmith, or puffed up his flame and earned a cup of 'char' - the strongest tea I've ever tasted, but he only let us kids have a small cup for helping his forge-fire, and never offered any adult, with whom he always appeared grumpy and sour until they left his forge. We felt 'SO' privileged to work on chopping sticks and pumping the bellows. Ah, the village, the horse chestnuts, the blackberries, the water so clear you could see the hunting pike. 😇

In the 80s, we'd pick green beans in the garden and eat them raw, or blackberries at a different friend'a house, or honeysuckle at our house.
But the nearest river was the most polluted river in all of New Jersey, which is saying something. 😂

When pre-school in Boxford in East Anglia, the local University at, I think Colchester, sent a grad' student once every little while to test the water as the river beside our house, which used to be a mill, was actually drinkable (4 microns, is it?), well anyway, when I was Four I specifically remember the excitement among the adults when Trout were seen swimming up river to the spring-pool behind our land. This on the East Coast. The Box empties into the Stour estuary and now the mouth of the Orwell and Stour have Harwich seaport on their south head and Felixstowe containerport on the north head, where used to be the wetlands and marshes, very similar to further north just south of Walberswick at Shingle Street. Mind you, I don't know if Shingle Street has also been filled, since I've not been there since early eighties. But I doubt very much if trout are found in the Box or the Stour.
Remembering the Trout in an East Coast river, I've thought that after the mid-west USA study, on oysters that picked on the East Coast of USA, we're transhipped to the mid-west where they closed, then began opening two weeks later as if still on the coast, because apparently they tune in to the Moon no matter the water. My idea was milking Trout/Salmon, and putting row and milk together in Moon-time in a spring-pool such as the Box, and breeding the fish out of cleansed or re-cleansed East Coast Rivers and any western rivers that they no longer breed in. If the fingerlings born in that water/soil make it to the sea, they should in their Moon-time return to that pool. I've heard biologists who have papers from book-learning say nay, but I've yet to hear from a practical trier, or one of those oyster research fellows. 😇

Scientists can hypothesize, but until a practical trier does some tests, they don'tnknow for sure!

Yay! That's what I reckon. That's what immediately came to mind when I read about the behaviour of the oysters. Where one might find clean enough rivers to experiment is a conundrum, but once proven to work, it becomes an enormous incentive to spend cleaning the rivers. 😇

yesss me too totally! You just gotta cut out their fear tactics and live your life! It's so nice to be separate from all that BS

I love so many things you said here @amariespeaks.

Imagine if we supported each others unique roles - allowing each to take the lead where necessary?

You are speaking of community in general, but i can definitely see that point tied to our #newbieresteemday initiative. We can only grow as we are now by giving reign to our members to express their unique talents and roles and determine for themselves where they fit in within this vast world of Steemit.

We need to bring back the village, the support system and thriving ecosystem.

What a wonderful world the (real) world would be if we follow this mindset again.

We need to make sure we take these ties of compassion into our real life communities.

Perfectly stated. Question now, how will we bring this plan into action? I'm sure our wonderful team will find a way. Somehow, somewhere, some time.

thanks so much @beeyou ! This was supposed ti be a short 20 minute blog then a half hour later I was still going hard lol I really believe a village mentality could save humanity and we see it working miracles on the platform.. everyone is so giving and open minded. I hope we do find a way to hook it into the real world 😊

It is very good for a 20 mins blog that turned into half hour plus. I can never write anything so exceptional if I had spent the whole day on it. I admire artists, and as @starjewel pointed out to me today, artists are not only those that use their hands to create, but also those with a talent with words/poetry and selecting the right words to use in 'creating'. You definitely have that!

ps, we had so much fun with the worship giphy to @davemccoy. If you have time to read about Dave's 'Spikey' story, you have to do it! I don't think @kismet2018 and I will let him live that one innocent comment he made down.

I mentioned it to @lynncoyle1 too, on Daniel's post. You can follow along here. Beware, I've broken into some outright bursts of laughter following along on this one.

https://steemit.com/steemitcommentchallenge/@danielsaori/comment-challenge-20-winners-usd10-sbd-200-sp-delegation-the-winners-are#@beeyou/re-beeyou-re-danielsaori-comment-challenge-20-winners-usd10-sbd-200-sp-delegation-the-winners-are-20180312t203514092z

just read the trail of comments 😂😂😂you guys are too funny!
and thank you for your kind words! Writers and storytellers are definitely a special kind of artist 😉

To get back to a village of community spirit. Where assisting others is a natural thing to do. It will require a change in the way society works and rewards in some manner for the community. It will require certain agreement, structure, less reliance on government or corporations for the deliveries of daily like,

The biggest obstacle is people coming together for a community before they can profit. We all read and have opinions on the different things which are wrong in our society today. There is not much thought put into a solution. A suggestion to this as a starting point I have done a blog on earlier today. If you have time to share thoughts or criticisms. I would appreciate your views.
https://steemit.com/newbieresteenday/@jan23com/energies-as-pathway-forward-part-1-of-social-economics-foundation

@jan23com I would love to check your post out. You are right it will take a total change of all the systems we've been building off of for the last few thousand years lol but compassion can prevail!

Maybe ¡ profit can be seen as not-cash, but kudos. A ubundu bank-less, wherein the Bank is a computer listing of skills, services rendered and services required, and providers of skills negotiate their worth/value as compared, with expertise and previous jobs/conditions. Art becomes a valued exchange alongside working skills, and listening is a paid position or job done as service to the family elderly involved. The unit of exchange being one's listed worth as a community server. Any Currency needed for extraneous dealing with non-village constituent businesses, would be a community decision of expenditure from Village account. That account would accumulate by a tithing of service the village provides for other communities or extraneous businesses. Umm¿ Yeah!

yesss! where can I sign up?? This sounds like the furure I want to live in!

Ubundu, is happening in some villages in Africa somewhere if memory serves. I read an article months ago, early last year. It's some sort of Bank-less barter society. I've not got full details, but it sounded good enough for me. You must remember however that there seem to be people who don't understand the word enough. They accumulate 'money', and out it in a vault, and set up to accumulate even more, as if the ownership of money were an invisible safety-net against the vicissitudes of life. I do understand that it can be on a short term, but once one gets beyond the ability to hand count it, then it becomes an almost meaningless bulk that has no purpose.

I couldn't agree more.. I mean you can't take this crap/money to the grave with you, so what is the point of having more than you can ever possibly use? Makes zero sense to me, too.

This was a great post, Earlier today, probably about the time you were posting this, had a very long winded response to @hetty-rowan born for a dime, to super condense it, yep community here on steemit, all o them, join, support and have fun, and they will in turn support, join and have fun with you.

@bashadow I'll have to go check the post and the response 😊 we do have such remarkable communities here - totally reaffirmed my faith in humanity!
Thanks for checking out my post!