The Buttcup Contest! ONE TRILLION NEGATIVE VEST PRIZE PAYOUT!!! Comedy Open Mic Round 20

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago

Super excited to announce the most Buttastic contest on Steem Blockchain!

The Buttcup.jpg

The Buttcup!

The only contest on STEEM with a
ONE TRILLION
NEGATIVE VEST
prize payout pool!

Our winner this week is a real showstopper ;)



~ Don't forget to find your very own vulnerability in the code so you can be a winner next week!~


First Ever Buttcup Winner!!! @nijeah

One look at this hilarious routine and the entire Steem blockchain cracked up! Truly amazing the power of humor, that a 34 SP user account can knock us all dead like that! What a joke!

Congrats @nijeah

you can expect your payment of ONE TRILLION NEGATIVE VESTS any time now I am sure.

In the meantime,

enjoy this amazing trophy! As a special bonus for the FIRST EVER BUTTCUP we are throwing in the naked man for free!

Proof of Butt


This butt began life as a Pixabutt. You know, from Pixabay :joy:

Thank you Pixabay user Haydenweal for your CC0 image - with tags like #man #naked #buttocks #butt #backside what is not to like, am I right?

Oh butt wait! Hold up! IS THAT A TATTOO on your butt mate? This will never fly. We are running a high class contest here. Nothing but the finest, unmarked, milky white ass for the Buttcup!

... Although I do have to admit, the way you integrated your butt mole into the tattoo is quite nice...

BUTT I DIGRESS

The tattoo must go! I saddled up my trusty PhotoShop and clone stamped the hell out of that ass. Here is a mid-progress process pic - you will note that I was working carefully, saving the original image as the "Butt Master" layer and my working copy as the "Butt Sub".

proof butt 1.jpg

If you have never used the clone stamp tool in PhotoShop, it is awesome and super helpful for tattoo buttjobs like this. Keep it in mind. Just hold down the "alt" key while you move the clone stamp tool over the part of the image that you want to be the source, then click, then release the alt key and move the clone stamp tool over to the part of the image that you want to cover up with your source. I used the clone stamp tool to cover up the tattoo with nearby sections of butt to match the delicate hue and silky down of this magnificent butt.

proof butt 2.jpg

VICTORY!

The butt is clean! Now that the offending ink has been removed, we can truly appreciate the butt for what it is. Not too thick, not too skinny, nice and firm, not much of a tan line, not too hairy. All in all, a fine butt! A butt worthy of a trophy!


Next I used a layer mask to do a sloppy rimjob around the whole naked man, masking over the room background with the Quick Selection Tool. I think that is the technical term for the Quick Selection around a figure in PhotoShop right? Rimjob? Am I getting that right?

proof butt 3.jpg
Mid-process of rimjob

Once I had the naked man separated from his surroundings, I had him all to myself. At this point, I could do whatever I wanted with the naked man. It was easy to just copy/paste him wherever I thought he would be best enjoyed. In this case I posed our naked man in front of another Pixabay CC0 image I found, of a shiny trophy cup. Thanks Pixabay user PDPics!

The edges around the naked man looked a little harsh and the lighting was off so I used inner glow and outer glow effects, selecting colors from the bokeh light globes above the cup, to soften the edges of the naked man and integrate him into the trophy cup's color scheme better. Boom! Buttcup!

buttcup.jpg


This ends my entry into Comedy Open Mic Round 20. Thus spaketh the @buttface. With a gust of unholy flatulence I nominate @demogorgon and @zuul. COM you ain't know what's comin' fer you, boyeeee! Hide your wife, hide your kids.

Sort:  

I felt a kinship here.... and an obligation to Vote up the butt.

see that's a man after you own butt

I swear I thought you created an alternate account

his butt wishes he did

I felt a kinship
Here.... and an obligation
To Vote up the butt.

                 - buttcoins


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

Two thumbs up! The butt

Butt Brothers from another mother :)

welcome to ComedyOpenMic @buttface aka Butty2...we have a channel in COM Discord dedicated to the butt come on over and join us!

COM Discord: https://discord.gg/SJf83D4

yes, when in COM discord.... go down to the bottom and you find #the-butts-room,
take a seat and explore...there is lore of a gnashter booty selfie.
@buttface COM say hi.

butt is there room for this butt?

But , but , I wanted the naked man all to myself! Damn it! Well, ok you can have him, I wanted him to have a buttoo anyways..

hahah buttoo....noice

Yeah, I'm a great word-mixer. But did you mean nice or noise ? hehe


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

why nobody vote up the C²....here's some love cc!

there you goooo its because I upvoted it with c2 bot.. and already left the message

AEMEUL

BROTHER LET US SLAY THIS COMEDY! THE HUMANS WILL NOT KNOW WHAT HIT THEM.

HETHRADIAH

VERILY BROTHER LET US DESTROY THIS COMEDY OPEN MIC AS WE HAVE DESTROYED THE 7 GATES OF HEAVEN.

been trying to start a team to mutiny that damn operations for weeks now...come join us!

THERE IS NO COMEDY. Only Zuul...

zuul looks kind horny

I think this dude will give you a run for your money

it's a butthole

pocketsend:11@buttface, play around with the token of fun - POCKET!

Successful Send of 11
Sending Account: pode
Receiving Account: buttface
New sending account balance: 126458
New receiving account balance: 10
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 456839857305c439c1c7efdd81887b5f66bb7767
Thanks for using POCKET! I am small bot and I am running this confirming code.

Sweet I will stick this in my butt and save it for later! I mean in my POCKET! Wait your name is pode? Is that dirty or does that just sound dirty?!? I have a pode. Or was that a chode? Kindly tell me what is the exchange between POCKET and chode, I am a hopeless newbie at all of this. I hope someone can take a firm hold of me and point me in the right direction.

He's obviously a Kiwi. His mole looks like it marks the spot for Taumarunui or Lake Taupo, somewhere round there. Probably where he's from. Handy if he gets lost I guess but not as accurate as a GPS.

Hey thanks! I knew I recognized that land mass but I was having trouble putting my finger on it ;) Thumbs up!

I really wouldn't want to live in Fiji. Looks like 24 hours of darkness.

This is really giving a whole new meaning to the land down under :)

"Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover"