Too Many Questions: Comedyopenmic 39 second Entry

The challenge of parents grows bigger and bigger by the moment. There's many evils lying in silent, waiting patiently to hurt their progeny. There's the constant threat posed by murderers, rapists, drug dealers and worst of all, Pastors in churches. There seems to be an unending barrel of evil rolling towards your offspring from the moment he/she is born. As a parent, one has to protect their offspring from these evils but at the same time, strike a balance that prevents one from being over indulgent and pamper till you inevitably spoil your child until he/she turns to Kanye West.

I spend days pondering on endless possibilities and speeches that I'll love to share with my unborn. I want to let them know things, things that you'll never learn in school.

I want to sit my daughters down and explain the relationship between learning Tai Chi positions and using public restrooms. I want her to understand why she's taking martial arts classes for self defense and more importantly, for sustaining kung fu-esque positions in a public restrooms. Its going to be weird but someone has to do it.

I hope I live long enough to see my sons grow into men. I want to teach my son about holes, I want him to know where he can put sticks in and why there are holes in certain public restroom walls. I want to be a mentor to my sons but more than anything else, I want to look them in the eyes and explain to them why they shouldn't look another man in the eyes while using the urinals. How are they going to handle those creeps that think the urinal is the best place to discuss about the "society"?

I'm done now, I'll rest for the moment. I nominate @trumpman because he's sexy and @markangeltrueman because, he's also sexy to show is how sexy their jokes are.