Smiling Tutorial

in #comedy7 years ago

Today I'm going to teach you how to smile. It's easy! Follow this step by step guide and you can be happy like me!

First think about nothing. Clear your mind.

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Slowly move your tongue from left to right on the back of your teeth. If you don't have teeth, brush it against the back of your lips without pushing through

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Put your two front teeth against your bottom lip, laying bare only the tip

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Alright, now here's the big step. Displace your cheeks across from themselves as if they got into a fight and you were separating them
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Once you've done that, it's time for the big step. I want you to think about the lack of rationality in the universe

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Good, you're doing great! Now focus on your existence, travelling through space at hundreds of thousands of miles every day

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Alright, it's now that you've come this far, it's time for the big step. Start thinking about your existence

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Take this time to ponder the concept of your culture, and that you are likely unable to think of anything outside the walls of your cultural experience

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Dabble in the concept of hate. People you will never meet hate you

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Okay, now let it out! Open your mouth wide and tell your screen that you love it really loudly without moving your tongue! You're almost there!

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Look at the progress you're making! Isn't this fun!?

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Let's see those pearly whites!

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Thank you! I'm glad we had this experience. I hope you smile lots with your newly acquired skill.

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Good job! I knew you could do it!