Old Chat Room Comedy

Long before the days of social media and such, we had chat rooms. So much joy in messing with total strangers. Here's a gem I found from my ancient archives.

Brindles2532: Wanna cyber?
Cpt. J.T. Balls: Cyber? Hahaha! Wow, did I just time warp back to 1998?
Brindles2532: Does that turn u on?
Cpt. J.T. Balls: Now that you mention it, it kind of does.......go ahead.......TCP my IP baby.
Cpt. J.T. Balls: Bring it on, the Captain will see you now.
Brindles2532: Do u wanna see my boobs?
Brindles2532: What u wanna do 2 me?
Cpt. J.T. Balls: First I rub my finger all over your big face. It's so soft and fleshy, I love it. There are a few rough patches, you may need to exfoliate.
Cpt. J.T. Balls: I slowly kiss down your face and play with the folds of your big sexy goiter with my tongue. I love your rumples.
Brindles2532: Whats a goiter?
Cpt. J.T. Balls: Never you mind......you should be hawt by now.
Brindles2532: Do u wanna see my boobs now?
Cpt. J.T. Balls: Oh, baby. I'm so ready.
Cpt. J.T. Balls: I slowly unclasp your bra and start to remove it. I stretch it back playfully and shoot it across the room. It scares my cats.
Brindles2532: r u going 2 touch them?
Cpt. J.T. Balls: My cats?
Brindles2532: no
Brindles2532: me
Cpt. J.T. Balls: yea yea, sorry.
Cpt. J.T. Balls: I slowly lean forward closer to your heaving chest, but as I do some of your long stringy hair gets caught in my nose. It tickles, uh uh uh uh......
Cpt. J.T. Balls: I sneeze.....really hard. Your boobs are now sopping with lung butter and nose goblins, the moon light reflects off the fresh warm mucous and sparkles like diamonds. It's extremely romantic, we are falling in love.
Brindles2532: fuk u

God I love the internet.