CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD, even if we keep on killing it!!

Filipinos have always been known to be thoughtful, helpful, and hospitable. Most people said that they’re the friendliest of all the Asians. Knowing my own people, I’ve always believed this as well. Though Filipinos also have flaws, the theory remains strong to most.

Since I live far from the city, taking the bus became my routine every time I go out. It’s also very normal that there are a lot of people standing on the bus because it gets full immediately. People normally don’t care who stands or sits anymore, they just make sure they’re seated and comfortably positioned somewhere on the bus.

One sunny afternoon, when it was a perfect time to be on the beach, lying under the sun, feeling the cool breeze, I was in the freaking chaotic city and on my way back to the “planet” where I live. I was one of the last passengers who got a seat on the bus. There was this young foreigner. It was hard not to notice him because he was a big guy, and he was also sitting 2 rows ahead of me. Nobody was standing yet, but the driver still waited for more passengers to fill in the bus.

Then an old man stepped in. There were no available seats anymore, hence he had to stand on the isle. Of course I felt bad sitting there while watching him stand very near from me. I was about to stand to offer him my seat but then I realized something. The bus was full of men, abled men, and there were so many of them sitting near where the old man was standing! So I waited. It took a short time for someone to stand and offer his seat.

Can you guess who stood and offered his seat to the old man? --- The foreign guy!

I felt so embarrassed seeing what just happened! I can still remember how ashamed I was when I saw what the white guy did. I felt like I should’ve just stood and offered my seat immediately rather than waiting for the other men to do it. I was surprised, I never expected that no other Filipino man would stand up and offer his seat to another Filipino man (who is old by the way).

Why did it have to be the white guy?
I don’t know if this only happens with Filipinos. But what exactly happened to chivalry? Filipinos used to be the best at this!

……..

Girls have always loved it when guys open doors for them, guys who give them flowers and other sweet surprises, guys who sing songs for them, guys who pick them up at work, guys who visit them everyday, guys who constantly do sweet things for them. As much as I hate to admit it, but I too love this kind of treatment from a guy every once in a while.

I kind of miss having someone outside my doorstep every day just to see me; someone who offers his seat for me; someone who opens doors for me; someone who gives me flowers and chocolates; someone who makes “harana” for me; someone who just does sweet things to make me happy. Admit it girls, we all love it!

This thing doesn’t really happen that much anymore. But why?

I tried to put myself in a guy’s shoe. Why would I stop opening doors for a girl? Why would I stop offering my seat for a girl? Why would I stop doing sweet things for a girl? Why did I stop being a gentleman?

And I look at the girls, myself included. Haven’t you noticed anything? I think girls/women changed after years. Before, we were expected to be home waiting for our partners, prepare food for them on the table, we were just always there for them when they get home. But time changed, and so did we.

Now, all women are working. Some of them are head of companies, some of them own companies, some of them have businesses of their own, big or small. We just became independent and strong.

And even on dating, or other normal occasions, we try to show guys how independent we are, that we can live without them, that we can do and have more even without them.

For example, I never liked it when a guy offers to carry my bag. That’s also a sign for guys that they should maybe stop doing what they’re doing. Maybe they think that girls don’t like those nice gestures anymore so they totally stopped, they stopped everything.

So I came to realize that chivalry is just there, waiting. The problem is only us.

But who is there to blame why chivalry was lost?

Anyhow, we can always change it back to how it was before. We just need a little change of how we are....