Do you Discipline Other People's Children? Here's How to Handle It...
If you baby sit children or your own kids ever have friends over, you are the one in charge. Since no child is perfectly behaved 100% of the time, the question of disciplining a kid that isn't your own will come up. How do you handle it? Do you avoid it and ignore their behavior, or give them the same punishment you would you own kiddos?
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Here are some tips for disciplining other people's children, if you ever find yourself in that situation.
Talk to the Parents
If you are going to be watching someone else's child, especially in a long-term ordeal like regularly babysitting, discuss discipline with the parents. Ask how they usually discipline at home, and what is acceptable or not for when the child is in your care. They may use time outs and think it will be effective for you to do the same. Consistency like that will likely make the child behave better when they are at home OR when in your care.
If the parent forbids you to discipline their child in any way, you may want to rethink the supervision altogether.
Avoid Physical Discipline
Even if the parents of the child say you can spank them, I highly advise against it. You can find yourself in a lot of hot water, legally, if you were to strike a child in your care.
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Plus, physical punishments don't seem as effective as other methods anyway, from my own experience. There are always alternatives, which will be better for you and the child you are supervising.
Always Be Fair in Discipline
If you are watching someone else's child along with your own, you must be fair when giving out punishments. Don't favor your own children over the others in your care. Your kid won't always be the angel while the other kids are the monsters.
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When an issue arises between your child and another, take the time to find out what really happened. Listen to both sides of the story with an open mind. Don't rush to punish the other child just to protect your own, unless it's warranted. Rather than punishments for child spats, it may be better just to redirect the kids to doing something independently, like drawing or coloring, so they can cool off.
Discuss Incidents with the Parents
At the end of the day, when the parent arrives to pick up their child, you should discuss any issues you had. Be honest and tell them what happened as well as how you handled it. Transparency is important when you are caring for another person's children. Hopefully, the parent will be understanding and apologize for any misbehavior from their child.
Disciplining someone else's child isn't the most fun thing to do when your kids are having their friends over to play. However, if they are in your home, they should expect to follow your rules. Also, you will want to get onto them when they are doing something dangerous. Knowing how to properly discipline comes from talking to the parents beforehand, as well as being fair when the need for punishments arise.
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@keciah - this is an interesting post. I have always wondered if I was watching someone else's child- what I should do about discipline. I guess I'd like to stay in control, but some kids try and push the limit or your buttons. You have to remain the one in charge and not sink to their level of misbehavior. Upvoted! Great post!
Looking through your posts it looks like you have some nice advice and educational articles around parenting. You might try using the #steemiteducation tag or check out @steemiteducation if your posts are educational in some way because steemit has a large community that appreciates education posts and it might get you more views or support. On another note: if another parent spanked my kid I'd probably freak out on them! Mama marxrab is against physical punishments. It's a hard subject to handle when you are dealing with other peoples kids.
Thanks for the tip, @marxrab! I am a member of the #steemiteducation Discord where I share all of my educational articles. I should try actually using their tag though too.
And yes, I would not be happy with someone else spanking my child either! I don't even spank my own, no way could I do it to other kid. At the same time, I do not hesitate to stop a child that is doing that is something not allowed in my house.
I think your advice on avoiding physical discipline is a good idea; wouldn't want any lockups. :-0 But seriously, you want to show your compassion while being firm.
I agree - you don't want to get in trouble for touching a child!
Physical discipline is out of the question! That is abuse on children! I prefer addressing any behavioural issues with the parents. Even when they give me green light, I still have something pulling me back before applying the rules. I agree that discipline needs to be a fair process otherwise it won't work.
Totally agree with you! I try not to discipline at all when caring for other people's kids, I prefer redirection to take their mind off misbehaving.
I completely agree, I feel weird telling other people's kids what to do... Unless it's something serious.
Normally after the child has gone home, I'll sit my kids down also and talk to them about the other kids behavior, what they thought of it and why they should behave that way.
Good advice, @keciah ! Communication and a level head are the keys. It's good that you've thought so much about this. You must be a great mom. Keep up the good work!
Thanks, @yekrats! Hopefully the info will help others in similar situations. It's can definitely be an awkward issue to handle!
Funny thing. Most of the parents tell me not to be so nice and that I have carte blanche to whip some sense into their troublemaking kids! Lol!
Nice article.
Namaste,
JaiChai
Lol, right?! I haven't had a parent tell me I couldn't discipline their children, but I know it would not work out well if that ever happened. Still, I don't spank anyone else's kids, but I may have to redirect their focus when they are misbehaving in my house.
Ooooo.. That's such a taboo topic to talk about but well done! Most parents would choose to ignore discipline issues. Personally, I would take the child aside and speak to the child about what he /she did wrong
I do the same, @alvinauh, if redirecting all the kids doesn't work. I find it hard to just ignore it, and I wouldn't want that child's antics to rub off on my kids! :)
Ha, I know of a case where none of these suggestions were followed and the arrangement fell apart in epic fashion. No way am I watching anyone's child with no authority to give them consequences!
Me either! I think not having the ability to discipline just sets the entire arrangement up for failure!
Good advice. In today’s world, there is a balancing act between discipline and angry parents. I teach children k-6 on sundays. Fairness and non physical correction are both key as you point out.
Yes, it seems parents get angry easier these days when it comes to their kids. Sometimes, they have the right, but if you are putting your child's care in another person's hands, you should also give them the ability to discipline. I think communication is the most important key -- you have to know what you can and cannot do to another person's child when they are under your supervision.
Well said.Always talk with a child never use violence to make a point!
Exactly! Thank you for stopping by and reading. :)