The first love
Your first love is something you never forget.
Even if he did not love you you will remember everything about him.
You will remember the wonderful smell of its perfume.
You'll remember the way he made you laugh.
You'll remember when they both kept awake just to talk.
You will remember every little thing about him, even what hurt you.
You will also remember the day you fell in love with him, and believe me, that hurts even more.
What if I had a first love?
Of course, go first love, there were more times when I cried than when I laughed, and yes, after a long time I realized that he was my love, but on his part the idea that I outside his love never went through his mind. He hurt me a lot, and it's not to justify it, but I understand, because ... Who cares if you're suffering when you do not mean anything to that person? ... It was 3 long years of my life, 3 years that marked me, I was always a very mature girl, I thought as someone of 20 when I was 12, I think that was what helped me not only to understand many things but to overcome them too.
Many people say that after the first love someone comes into your life, and that someone is even more important because it is who will help you get up for each of the disappointments that you experienced with your first love, that someone will teach you that the love if it's real.
My story is different, after those 4 long years of so many sad moments and happy moments that I assure you can be counted with my fingers I decided, I decided to close that chapter since it did me no good at all, on the contrary, I was destroying myself seeing so many things, once the chapter closed I had a hard time recovering, but I did, and what I imagined was my "someone special", and I could not really control my happiness because I thought about what finally they were going to show me what love was, I was going to live it ..
Completely false! To not make this post so long, I will summarize this story, for him I was always the second, there was always someone in front of me in his life, the difference is that in mine he was ahead of everyone, even me, because I really I stopped loving myself for loving him, I stopped giving myself the courage I had just for him. Worst of all was that for the rest of the world we were friends who did what we wanted when we both wanted, which was also false, because I did it only because I wanted, unlike him, that he did it only to take away the you win 3 years of my life watching him with each of the girls he put on top of me, 3 years full of nights when I cried thinking about absolutely everything. I entered into a really strong depression, I am a very active person, I like to talk, to make people laugh, to play music at full volume, and during my depression I was a totally different person, I did not leave my room at all The day, I expected everyone to finish eating for me to find my food and give it to my dog and spent all day without talking to anyone and with tears in my eyes until I fell asleep, even my mother came to think I wanted to kill myself, I assure you This idea never crossed my mind, but my mother saw me in such a way that it was what she thought. In the end I got over it, late but surely, and had returned, stronger than ever.
Today I have not had the opportunity to call anyone "boyfriend", and yet no one has passed through my life to really teach me what it is to feel loved.
But I think that someday those two people who marked my life so much will go out with someone who probably loves them more than I do, and I wish them the best throughout their life because I would not be who I am today if it were not for them.
Soon I will meet someone else.
Someone who will put on the best perfume for me.
Someone who will make me laugh.
Someone who will be revealed only by talking to me.
And right there at some point I will fall in love, and it will be there that I will believe in love again.
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