On speaking too much and saying too little

So this past few months I have been trying to focus on using spiritual tools to become a kinder person. I've always felt that spirituality is a strong part of me but lately I haven't been walking my walk.

I recently seem to have a genuine need to be a kinder person who does more for others in the world and I feel spiritual practices like yoga and meditation are one of my routes to getting there. I feel the way meditation and yoga encourage you to introspect affects the way you speak to and behave around others. It sort of quells overreactions. I am well known for being sharp tongued, and that's something I'm trying to get in check.

I hate the term "self improvement" because it implies that we need to change ourselves when sometimes it's more about uncovering who we really are, instead of the masks we wear when connecting with other people. I often feel I'm too self conscious to be myself around people. My real self is very quiet and introverted, yet I can come across quite loud and bolshy in certain company, all because I feel I need to perform in a certain way.

So this week, I am resolving to think about what I say before I say it. And to not feel like I need to contribute to a conversation just for the sake of contributing to it, but only speak when I feel I have something to say.

I'm not entirely sure to whom this quote is attributed (I have heard both Buddha which I know isn't true, and Rumi and I'm not sure if it's him either) but no matter who said it, I propose to live by it this week:

“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:

At the first gate, ask yourself “Is is true?”
At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”
At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”