Sunday, January 27, 2019

The more I think about what I want to do about my future, the more options come up for me. Am I supposed to just pick something and see it through? I saw a post today and it said "You cannot live your entire life based on who you once were and what you once did. 2019 is all about creation. Birthing new projects, embracing genuine love, and activating the abundance blueprint." Seeing that post really questioned what I'm trying to achieve this year. My ultimate goal was to go back and play basketball and finish school. Basketball is a part of my past. It's what I once did. My athletics have evolved. What was I trying to accomplish with that? I was wanting to use basketball as a means to an end. But honestly, that's not what I was doing it for. It was just a default setting for me that made sense so I wouldn't have to really think about what I wanted out of life. However, lately I've been doing a lot of introspection. I really am not sure what I want to do yet. I want to travel. I want to go to live events. I want to experience different cultures and meet new beautiful people.
I think I'm scared. I'm scared to go back to school and be tested. I'm scared to fail again and not finish what I started. However, I'm a different person now. I respect and honor myself. I was really hoping for OIT, but then Sonoma State popped up and I'm definitely more attracted to that because there was the slight chance of Daniel getting another degree in San Fran, which wouldn't be too far away. Another option that I'm thinking of is living in California for a bit to get my residency and go to a state school there to get my bachelor's in communications. I keep going back and forth with what I want to do. I want to meet Shaman Durek so he can teach me what my strengths are and what I can do to pursue them. I know I won't have a conventional career ahead of me. I'm also thinking about staying home and really taking reins of the company and learning how to run it. I could become successful with that as well. Is it something that I truly want to do though? Maybe when Mikayla and I go to India, I'll have things figured out by then.