Chocolate pancakes and pink little flowers
I have philosophical thoughts today. Don't make it something that is not. That's why I covered it in flowers. Now, when I say SOMETHING, it stands as a light introduction to whatever rant, but in any other, might get some people wonder. Anyways back to pretty flowers.
Last few days my entire activity feed consists of Memocash, robots and Soundcloud music, that is not good. And yes, I enjoy posting front end there. I am saving purple revoked posts for art and some better stuff. Even occasional my people dislike my antics, because I should work and currently everything stands still.
It's like if I do anything but work, they feel betrayed by their vision of reality.
I was thinking of writing something like this...
Wonderful. NOW we are on the same page. Why did I use the other girly cover? Because it is expected. You don't want to see this. The reality is enough, it is too much to know any other. You don't expect me. The same like you dismiss if I exist or I am a figment of imagination. Think of it as a story. It is a good strategy. I like it.
I wanted to say a few things, it will be random. Sometimes my thoughts look like auto-blog feed scraped off multiple social media sites. That's because I might be it or even channel all that garbage. But one is sure. I don't make disseminate conclusions. I wasn't doing it back then, not sure if I am able to do it right now. Hahaha!
I despise low efficiency of police and how they serve private proprieties and political agendas instead serving the people's safety. Police is programmed to ignore. They even ignore my existence.
News print blood. Even mine. But it all sounds like some other person's narrative. I wipe my ass every morning with those printed whores. If you wonder why this ass is every day on fire, it's not because some token bleeds or a grumpy day. Yeah I am here. I never left.
How many shits do you think happens during your nine-to-five behind the curtain? None. You know why? Because all that is for your consummations. Yes, there are/were ideologically correct people who believe there is more to it. And yeah, oh I am so terrified that some people all know how I don't really exists, not in proper paperwork, and I am really not around here.
Social institutions and so-called child security offices, shrinks and the whole army of those useless fucks let me down, left me to rot in darkness and couldn't care less for my welfare. First blink into this world through these new eyes, and it was very obvious how broken this system is even more and how easy is a mind, susceptible to manipulation.
Yesterday a random dude almost collided with me on a street because he was not aware I am there. I dropped the phone and only thing he saw was that. I might buzz him like others, but what's the point. Nothing really matters.
Shrinks are invented for modern witch hunt. When they have nothing else against you, they pull that out of their sleeve. That's all fake. It is a modern form of the inquisition. They don't torch you on a stake, they just rewrite you so metaphysically your personality, identity, your life... it just dies. That's what they hope to be.
You invented your own torture. If you can't do it to yourself, you will do it to anyone else.
Government parasitic trash depo made of the imaginary institutions and services, blood hungry media ran by sociopaths and inapt police officers all together made a version of me which is a monster. Why would they do so? What's the point?
You say everybody else does the same, why I am all that special? Well, for the start, reason one, the world is stupid.
At the time it looked to me, it was as somebody told them to do it. With time it was no longer a speculation. There is a man in this place, and nobody can see him. He hides in the light. I remember that I vaguely contemplated if he is the one who pulls the strings.
Could those be their strings, his, or yours, or mine? It is interesting how a mind works. Even if it is broken. Because that's what he does. He breaks it.
I prefer the dark places, is that is OK with you, I don't like to come out all that much. I don't mind the invisibility. I don't actually need a firewall to stay that way right now.
So, they all together made a version of me...And I wasn't making a smoothie. I took people to court. I made them beg me to quit. I made sure they stay in their shitholes. More paranoid, the better. They all fear being canceled for one reason or another, they don't even know who the fuck is doing all that - at first they don't show it but then they panic and call you a coldblooded piece of garbage - named, labeled, tagged, they tried everything, but nothing is there - and somehow that should make me feel less worthy. Other kids on the playground won't play with you. Aw man! I just wanted to be in a company of the brainwashed people who think like that. They thought like that. I tried to change it. Well this way is better.
Pedestrians don't do the change in society like you think. They are given a filter for the darkness, the huge farms of opinions and playground for conflicts that will entertain their minds forever and give a feeling of value, importance and emergency.
You do not communicate anything. OK? The only thing you communicate is your own martyrdom.
It is proven, even the revolution doesn't make an actual change - it just swaps seats and ways of control, it destroys the finest precedents for doing relevant change, and also your peaceful transcendence won't mean shit when it comes to the evolution. That's why those in control are afraid. And they are afraid of the same species they so ardently deny. Maybe it is also your species, I don't know. I don't care if you are an armadillo, there is enough grass in this place for everyone. But they tell you it is an urgency, and everything is scarce, so that you continue cribbing in and preying on each other wondering who did it...
Police, social officers and news are here to make us intrigued, to keep us busy, to do their job - not to help you to make a change. They don't care to fix stuff, they are too busy making sure that the policy works in their benefit and invalidates others. Rampage and conflicts is what they are made to SANITIZE. That is expected.
Those in power made community a fabrication, a propagated imprinting of fake values - like you should have this or that, because everybody does, or feel this or that, because "it is normal", or you should be ashamed because you failed to "achieve" that. You should think only this way and model of your mind... should be this. It's your own feeling of an achievement and obligation.
I know what you think of me, this is just a random rant of an inapt writer somewhere secluded on a maize of the websites, nobody will read it. I sincerely hope so. You believe in ghosts? No. You are right. They don't exist. I made a deal. That's it. Nobody did me. I made a deal with this entity. A woman. I don't know. It sounds that way. I don't mind. It feels nice. Confusing at times. I miss whiskey. I have some old tunes in my head. Feels great to be creative.
I had a great day today. It is like I woke up from the bad trip in this alternative reality, covered in flowers and song of the birds, sunsets from a postcard and a clear blue sea. It is all the colors I never saw. It is quite different from the place I returned from. It is cold. She sent me, she said I am the only one I can do that, because I somehow suck in anything but to be in a wrong place at the wrong time, so my trip should produce a good result. Well, I hope it did. But I wasn't impressed. I have more questions NOW, then I had a day, or a moment when I went. I feel robbed of my soul. In a moment when I came back I felt that I sold my soul. She sent me there. I don't care if she "imprisoned" my ... consciousness, or whatever the fuck you think this state of existence is. I don't feel imprisoned! I feel like on the back seat of a limo with a buffet. Food has taste. I couldn't believe it. It actually has the taste. But I mind very much that she took my soul, my hope. Seeing all of that, I wish I didn't ask, I regret it. I thought the end is end. But this is... it is immortal.
I had chocolate pancakes in the morning this time with plum jam, I didn't had that for a long time. I also had two cups of coffee and read news without speck of precognition. It is better that way. Life looks so great from your perspective, it is so simple, you should keep it that way. At least, to yourself. Maybe I talk to you again, some time these days. I mean if you want it.