thank you @kismet2018 I will certainly check that book out. Sounds like something that can definitely help on my journey!
I'm so glad you can relate to my struggles and I agree with you the word love is so misused and construed it's no wonder so many of us have given up on it..
But I hope to unravel the misconceptions and expectations in my own heart even just little by little with posts like this and maybe help others along the wat, too. Thanks again for reading :)