Nothing is Free :: @v4vapid Block-Chains Contest Story
(story preview only)
This is an entry for @v4vapid's BLOCK-CHAINS Conspiracy Writing Contest IV.
Title image by @negativer using Canva
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Hi Neg!
I'm back to congratulate you on your well-deserved win! :D
And, wow, I think @v4vapid may have noticed my stark reaction to the ending... he mentioned that "some people" ... etc. ;) Well, I've always been in the "some people" category I guess. ;)
In any case, I'm very pleased to see you take home the gold. As I said in my first comment, your story is an amazing combination of remarkable, thought provoking, and disturbing. It very coherently and concisely paints a believable picture of a future gone severely wrong.
Kudos!
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If he reads the comments, I applaud him for his thoroughness. He definitely wants to make the right choice and see what other folks are saying as well. Steemit needs more folks like him.
Your reaction joined more than a few others, I think, in that category of people that were caught off guard by the suddenness of the unhappy ending.
I do promise to find a reason to write a happy ending soon, though! :)
Thanks so much for the congratulations, and your support!
I really do appreciate your work, and I'm glad to think that my "squeaky wheel" complaints might actually one day draw a happy ending out of you!
I've had similar good results with my friend @johnjgeddes by persistently nagging him to write more poetry... Now he writes lovely pieces almost daily! :D
That was a happy ending to me. She broke free. I suppose many people may not understand the sacrifices one must make once the contract has been signed. Any way out is a happy ending. The key is not allowing the contract to be made in the first place.
That's a very uplifting viewpoint. She made a choice to free herself, and acted on it. She lost something in the process, but probably gained a lot more. I like that perspective.
Geez, Neg. Add this one to my list of favorite short stories, too. As in, favorite ever. Not just favorite from the Block, or favorite from Steemit. Favorite ever, ever.
You know how much that comment means to me? A lot. Thank you for reading, and for the comment. I'll probably print it out and tape it to my monitor. :)
:-) Well, the comment is true.
As shocking as the end is, I believe that it follows the caution of: "A word to the wise is sufficient." We need to be vigilant about our freedoms and those who are willing to neutralize them. As boring, tiring, and annoying as our system might be, we need to be well informed and then make our moves accordingly. Unfortunately, our system of maintaining freedom in this country seems to be at a point where it's being compromised. We need to be able to make an informed choice before heading off to the polls for whatever election. If nothing else, we have the knowledge that we have, to the best of our ability, endeavored to make the right choice. Great story!
It's true. We always need to be vigilant, because even little things are just individual steps down the path that could lead us to something much worse.
Thanks for reading! :)
Love this line: "The men in their ivory tower painted coal with colors of gold and called it a token..." And the idea of getting stuck at home because you ran out of traveltokens... depressing and plausible. I wondered if he'd be able to get into his apartment, with all the traveltoken dinging he'd done. And the ending... tragic, yet fitting. :(
The 'tokenizing of everything', kind of where SMT might take us, feels wrong to me, but it also appears like that's a road we might be headed down.
Thanks for reading, geke!
You already have the commoditization of everything. Tokenization just seems to offer more ways to skin the cat, right?
I feel you on the moral ambivalence on the effect of the blockchain. I like the idea that it is immutable and public. That's good. Right?
AAAAaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!! :O :O :O
I was loving this until the ending...
Sorry friend @negativer, for the negative reaction.
IMNSHO, your story is plenty remarkable, thought provoking, and disturbing without the horrifying ending.... Could I please have the 'B' version, where the little girl isn't mutilated at the end? :O
I'm going to re-write it in my mind... In my new version, Michael has seen the light on the way home and instead of walleting his little girl, Michael, Mika, and Kayla pool their remaining resources and move to a commune in the country... ;)
Again, apologies for the strong reaction... Just my open, real, raw reaction.... You're an amazing writer, my friend.
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So...an ending that's ... not sad? I ... don't understand. ;)
I hear you though. It made me sad to write it, but to really emphasize the 'sacrifice' she was willing to make, there had to be a... sacrifice.
I do need to write more uplifting stories once in a while, to balance things out.
Thank you for reading, and sorry for the harsh ending!
Hey, my friend, no need to apologize! I do appreciate you and your writing; my desperate need for happy endings may just be a character flaw of my own.
Thanks for not taking offense. ;)
Oh, and I do understand the need for sacrifice... :D
This isn't dystopia - this is EVILtopia. "NEGATOPIA." How dare you! I like the device of keeping his wife out of reach the whole time on the other end of a phone until the end. Very effective tension-building.
Negatopia. I like the sound of that :) Thanks for reading!
A dystopian tale with a very human touch, negativer. Your analogy works seamlessly. But the thing is ... we are already there. Money has had this effect on people for a very long time. You really are a fine short-story teller. Pleasure to read them:)
You're right; the system is already in place right now with paper money, but the potential is there for it to become much worse; the potential is certainly there for it to be abused.
I think the system is somewhat already abused but with a platform like steemit paving the way, we could end up with a system that is more equitable, where everyone is valued. It is my hope anyways. Where the monetary system services society and not enslaves ... wouldn't it be nice. Keep you short stories coming:)
Oh my GOSSSHHH Neg! You can't get through a story without shedding blood and breaking hearts, huh?
All in all, I love the dystopia you made here. Very stressful in a very familiar way.
It doesn't feel so far off, really. A lot of these things already happen, but consolidating it all to a blockchain for easy data analysis and trending prediction and whatever doesn't seem that big of a step.
Thanks much for reading!
You're welcome for reading!
I don't understand blockchain at all, so I'll probably burn my hands off too.
BOOM...
Your story hit the mark. I loved this. A perfect example of what could be, if people allow it. Very powerful. I'm so glad I found it in time to add my cent to your reward.
Everyone gets so excited about all this new tech that promises to "empower" them when in reality it only feeds the system. It empowers those who control the tech. Smart watches are a great example of this. "I can now monitor my health" when in reality "they" can now monitor your health.
Man, that'd be a great story angle too. 'Smartwatches that report to the blockchain so that your permanent health record is available for all doctors, anytime, anywhere!'
Super great, except prospective employers can look you up and determine if you're a health risk and what vices you might have, and the government or insurers can check on your past issues and see if they want to offer your coverage or not.
Thanks for reading!
Wow - that was intense. I've gotta say I didn't see that coming! It's interesting that you paint a picture of blockchain being used in such a dystopian sense (of course now that I look at the contest, I understand the intent). Very well done. You deserved to win the contest. Congrats sir.
Thanks much! The prompt, of course, was the impetus behind the negative direction of the story, but I also do fear that personally, that tokenization is a road we might eventually regret going down.