Fake Crypto News - The Price of Altcoins Keeps Dropping, Resulting in new Highs for BitcoinsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #bitcoin8 years ago (edited)

“The price of leading Altcoins, such as Ethereum and Monero, is down this week and as a result, Bitcoin has reached new highs,” South Florida Polytech professor Xernyon Hung stated earlier today. “Everyone knows the price of Bitcoin is intricately linked with Altcoins.” 


Professor Hung explained Bitcoin has eclipsed its previous ATH. When asked about ATH, the professor explained, “ATH stands for Altcoin Technical Hypercorrelation, which is simply the value you get when you add up the value of all the digital currencies, subtract that value from itself, then multiply the number of BTC in existence by the current price and compare the result to previous ATH values.” 


It took me about seventeen hours of research and hard work to calculate the actual ATH of Bitcoin using the formula above. It was more difficult with prices of the currencies constantly changing, but the formula pans out and was an educational exercise which really helped me gain a better understanding into this often misunderstood crypto world. 


I did some research into how I would purchase Bitcoin and was pleasantly surprised how easy it is these days. I used an exchange called Coinbabe. Signing up for an account only took about five minutes. Before I could actually buy any Bitcoin though, I had to provide them with my social security number, a scan of my driver’s license, my birth certificate, my previous seven tax returns, a blood and urine sample, and a lock of hair from my first-born daughter. Once that was complete and my bank provided them with my account numbers and all my balances, I was able to buy a very limited amount of Bitcoin to get started. 


In my research I discovered before a new digital currency is launched, the founders raise money from investors up front in an ICO; an Initial Coin Offering. I again contacted Professor Hung and asked him about an ICO I was interested in for the QUMQT project. “It is common for the founders of a new digital coin project to take half of the coins up front, and sell the other half to people who want to invest in the project. This assures only the investors lose money if the project fails, but the founders become instant billionaires should it succeed,” Hung explained. “QUMQT is interesting because they claim to be marketing to the Chinese, which the rest of the crypto-world will not be able to actually confirm. However, since the Chinese market is the largest and most mysterious, I am sure investors will flock to QUMQT due to this claim, even though they don’t have any code written.” 


The professor pointed me toward the most popular and powerful crypto exchange in the world called Polobologna where, for a small fee I could move my Bitcoin, and for another small fee I could use it to buy different digital currencies. I sat and watched the ticker on the side of my screen as a coin they had recently added soared 1,000% in a few hours. Magically, it dropped like a rock the moment I bought it, and soared again when I sold to cut my losses. It was like I personally held the fate of the coins I was buying in my hands, and could destroy the hopes and dreams of the investors in an entire crypto currency project simply by buying their coins. 


Be sure to stop by Fake Crypto News next time as I continue to learn more about this fascinating unregulated industry. After trying my hand at trading, somehow I am down $1,200 this week and I am not sure how I am going to provide food for my family.  I beg you to send a small donation to the BTC address below before my wife finds out and leaves me. 


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