Being the White Mother of a Biracial Child

Before having children, I would think about how they would look like, dream about holding a little baby in my arms, think about names, picture myself taking them to many different places. I would dream about all the holidays and birthdays we would spend together, all the special moments we would share. I really couldn't wait to have babies. That day finally came on October 4, 2011. I finally had my first born, my daughter Olivia. I instantly felt in love with that sweet little baby. I just loved her so much. She had the same skin color than me, which was a little bit surprising since my husband is Black and I am White, but it was the very least of my concerns!

Olivia started to "tan" a little bit and the first time I ever got a comment on her skin tone was at the hospital, when the doctor told a nurse "don't worry about her skin tone, the father is Black" When she said that, I was confused about her comment. I did not understand what was not to worry about... and then she told me that biracial babies' skin tone is often confused with jaundice. That was the first, but far from being the last comment I would get about her skin color!

I then started being asked a lot of weird questions like : "did you leave her for too long under the sun?", "oh when did you get her?", "Where did you get her?", "Where is she from?", In Winter, our cold Canadian winter, I was told when she was about 2 years old : "oh poor little girl, she must not be used to our Winter... she will be so cold", "are you the mom? OMG, she really looks nothing like you"...

The very first time I was asked such a question, I felt very sad. I felt sad because this little girl actually was in MY womb, I carried her for 9 months, I delivered her, she was completely mine! This was the baby I had been dreaming about, this was MY baby. Maybe it was naïve of me, but when I dreamed about the baby I would have, I would not imagine people would focus so much about a baby's skin color or the fact that the baby doesn't look exactly like her mommy... I would just picture me and my baby, not a White, Black or Biracial baby, just a simple baby.

Olivia is now 6 years old and even though I always hope that people will just change and not think or talk about her skin tone anymore, they always do and keep making the same comments... over and over again. To me, that is the perfect example that even though we progress, are more and more tolerant towards others, appearance still holds an undeniable and sometimes regretful importance in our society.