Hey Bernie Sanders supporters—Why so down? Can't you see Trump is 'your guy?'

Why are you Bernie Sanders supporters so upset that Trump won? Trump's in favor of every policy that you've loved Bernie so much for having. Trump wants to boss your neighbors around on your behalf, and violate their rights, for practically all the same reasons as Bernie does—and he also wants to rob others to provide you with virtually all the same free stuff as Bernie!

Trump, just like Bernie, also plans to steal from others to provide you with free single-payer healthcare. Trump has also said he's in favor of people being bossed around, whereby struggling business both large and small are told how much they should pay their employees by seeing the minimum wage raised.

Trump also wants to rob other people to give you a month or longer paid vacation every time you have a kid (even same-sex couples) by offering paid maternity leave. Trump also wants to violate people's rights of self defense, and of the right to be innocent until proven guilty, by not allowing them to buy a gun if they're on a Gestapo-style government list.

Trump even disagrees with the framers of the Constitution regarding immigration, just like Bernie does. Both think the federal government has the authority to say who can come into the country, and who an employer can or cannot hire, since Bernie has also voted to deport immigrants, and voted against allowing Mexicans to work here temporarily, and "terk er jerbs."

Probably of the utmost importance for you Bernie Sanders fans, Trump also plans a socialistic wealth redistribution tax scheme once in office. He too plans to punish the especially successful business owners and employees of America by extorting an extra portion of their income via coercion and threats of government violence.

And to offset any lost jobs due to the wealthy fleeing the country because of his tax plan, Trump also plans to enact protectionist trade policies that will likely further kill jobs and hike prices of the goods and services Americans pay for, something Bernie is totally in favor of as well.

The only big thing you may disagree with Trump on, is that he may not end up being as much of a militaristic warmonger as Bernie, who has supported the bombing of Yugoslavia, Gaza, Iraq and Afghanistan, and who voted to hand over millions of your hard-earned dollars to a Ukrainian coup government, among many other such actions while he was in office.

A lot has been made of how divided and polarized America is. I've seen so many voters—literally left and right—at each other''s throats the last year or so. That's a shame since, as their votes indicate, it obviously doesn't have to be that way, because the two groups are practically in lockstep policy-wise.

So rather than feeling down and depressed, shouldn't you Bernie supporters instead be celebrating? And rather than ending friendships over politics, shouldn't you now be reaching across the aisle, and joining hands with your Trump-supporting friends, now that you can see that there's barlely a dime's difference between the both of you, or between your respective populist, "anti-establishment" political overlords?

Instead, rejoice in what are so many things you both have in common, the most of which are the three most important things: your unwillingness to think for yourselves or do your own research into the issues, your foolhardy and self-destructive electoral tendencies, and most of all—your desire to violently subjugate your fellow man by proxy through State violence.

P.S. If anyone on either side of the dog-and-pony show disagrees, I guess you've both got me with one argument: "But at least it ain't Hillary!" Obviously, immoral policies and actions are just fine, so long as they're done "legally." Am I wrong?