17 Things Only Baristas Will Understand

Waking up at 5:30 is both painful but serene.

Customers that come in before 9 am are not humans but actually zombies, whose only vocabulary is their drink order.

Secretly creating nicknames for all the regular customers, out of sheer necessity to try and stay sane during the workday.

Having to break the bad news to customers that I am out of one of our nondairy milk options (soy, almond or coconut) and I never know if the customer will throw a complete tantrum over it.

Having to ask "hot or iced?" and "for here or to go?" more times than saying your own name (probably).

Drinking wayyyyy too much coffee than what is probably the normal human limit, but the job calls for it.

A mumbler is almost as bad as a rude customer because inevitably the order will be wrong.

Dealing with a customer who barks into his cell phone while gesturing bossily towards the menu, and then throws their credit card at you.

Drinking coffee out of boredom, pushing your personal caffeine tolerance to the max.

Attempting to scarf down a broken cookie during a lull, only to have a customer randomly appear at the register while you still have crumbs on your face.

Working at a corporate place means putting up with the insanity-inducing muzak that plays day after day, never changing.

Having to compose yourself in front of a customer after your coworker made you laugh so hard you cried

Valuing customers who are patient and understanding, and adding vanilla to their drink and not charging them for it as a thank you.

Accidentally giving someone caffeinated instead of decaf, and realizing it does not matter, that world hunger exists.

Your pantry has been filled with stale pastries because you are broke and never turn down free food.

You have had a customer order a "no foam iced cappuccino" and you just stand there and blink, needing a minute to process the stupidity.

Despite all of the above grievances, you have mornings when you love your job.