Bread of Disappointment

You should never do anything half-assed. Do it with all your spirit, be it a failure or success, at least you did it seriously.

I haven't baked bread for a while. I started my sourdough few days ago and didn't have time to bake it into bread - while not wanting to throw it away.

Finally I made some time, but I was already unsure if the bread would actually succeed. The smell was not completely what it should be, but close enough. I was on a tight schedule, so I had to do few things at the same time.

I was really unfocused.

This was not what baking should be for me. It has always been a stress-free method to erase the worries from my mind. Now I was not even worried, but I wasn't in the baking mode at all.

The flour was added to the activated sourdough. I didn't even measure this time, as I trusted I know what I'm doing. Usually I know it.

I added some honey to give it more flavor and to soften the sour taste with a bit of sweetness.. at least that's what I assumed. In the end my wife said the bread tasted a bit like beer, might be because of the honey.

Mixmixmixmixmixmix!

This is kind of the most boring part, as you have to do it in total for... how long, I'd say almost 20 minutes for the finish I'm usually looking for. However, this leaves more space to do something else, like playing games on the phone.

You have far too little time for important things like this. This is the part I'm very rarely taking any shortcuts and I'm proud of myself in that.

This was the one part where I failed. I wanted this to be a "oven tray bread", flat and covering the whole oven tray. However because I didn't focus almost at all, the dough was both too small and too thick to be easily spread. Usually I'm making thick dough so I can give it fun forms, but this time it didn't help.

I got pissed off at the damned bread and left it like that.

Fuck you bread!

And this is what I get. A disappointing bread. It's not the fault of the bread though, I am the one to blame.

I have disappointed myself and the bread.

_{The taste was pretty good though.}

I didn't get any pleasure from baking, so I assume it shows. They say you can taste love in the food, I wouldn't be surprised if it was true.

Without love, there is no effort. Without effort, it's hard to find success.

Luckily my chili seedlings are doing great!

I added them on the post to avoid this post for being only about the failures. There is always success.