Fire Phoenix Dancer: The story behind my name
Once upon a time, an elder shaman smoked her pipe as she gazed into a picture of my eyes, the gateways of the soul, and with permission, opened my Book of Life. With her crystal guiding her sight, she turned to a page with a distinct picture of an exquisite fiery Phoenix rising in her beauty, truth and wisdom, embraced by rainbow flames. Her energies appeared to dance on the flames beneath her, joyfully navigating her own transformation with ease and grace. As she meditated on the picture in my very thick, golden-paged Book of Life, she was aware that my role would be in assisting others as a guide through their own transformation journeys as souls, leading by example through my own journey.
This name was announced to me in a powerful moment of recognition in a sweatlodge with this elder, after I passionately prayed for myself in the lodge. She stopped the ceremony, and from the darkness of this humid womb-space she asked me if I was ready to receive my name. This made my entire body tingle with electricity: I was ready to receive.
It was through the void of humid air in the pitch darkness, that I heard the words,
“Fire Phoenix Dancer.”
I knew instantly that my soul had been named with an accuracy that rang through my entire Being. She asked me to say my name out loud to the gathering of witnesses present, holding this sacred space for this special moment. The name rang through my body, rippled through all time-space, as I smiled hearing my voice claim this name. I later drummed my name to the four directions after the sweatlodge, and the winds seemed to acknowledge me, the leaves clapped at every declaration. It was a powerful moment in my life.
It took me some time to integrate my newly discovered yet ancient power name, and I am still discovering new meanings for myself through my contemplations. The mythical phoenix has a story and appearance in nearly every culture: Egypt (Bennu), Sumeria, Rome, Greece, China (Feng Huang), Hebrew (Milcham), Arabic, North American native culture (Thunderbird). In shamanism, the Phoenix is the keeper and protector of the Fires of Creation and represents death, rebirth and regeneration. In Christianity, the Phoenix has become a symbol of resurrection and eternal life. In Rome, the Phoenix was on the coins as a power symbol for the eternal reign of the Roman empire intended by its leaders. In Egypt, the Bennu bird/phoenix represented the action “to rise and shine.” In China, Feng Huang/phoenix was one of the four mythological creator animals, along with the dragon, the unicorn and the tortoise. There are so many stories related to the phoenix, that I have a few links below to share if you are interested in reading more:
Resources on the Mythology of the Phoenix:
http://www.phoenixarises.com/phoenix/legends/legends.htm
http://geography.about.com/od/culturalgeography/a/The-Phoenix.htm
An Article on the Phoenix as a Guide of Transformation:
http://aflourishinglife.com/2011/01/coping-with-challenging-life-circumstances/
After distilling so many of these tales of the Phoenix, I can see the Phoenix as embodying:
Awakening to Christ Consciousness
Transformation cycles of death and rebirth
Essence of the element of Fire and a representation of Great Fire
Beauty, Truth & Wisdom
The phoenix has been depicted with fiery flaming wings, sometimes rainbow-coloured, and with hints of other features of birds represented ranging from the eagle and hawk to the peacock and heron. As I have been working with Phoenix energy, I find that the flames that I embody as Fire Phoenix Dancer are rainbow flames, representing the chakras, all spectrums of light and energy. I often imagine myself engulfed in benevolent flames that are compassionately burning away the residues of limitation from my consciousness and healing all life around me.
When I felt ready to begin my journey of remembrance of shamanism, I put it out the signal that 'this student was ready for her teacher.' Upon starting my first class with my teacher, I learned that the medicine lineage I was to be initiated into was first given to his grandmother five generations before him by a rainbow Thunderbird (Phoenix) entering the crown of her head. I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be. I was no stranger to rainbow flames surrounding me and now I could learn what to do with them!
To be given the name of Fire Phoenix Dancer, I am guided by this incredible mythological bird in my own life to:
- Rise and shine in my own life as a I make the choice to be worthy of the beauty, truth and wisdom that is part of my essence, and confidently share it with others.
- Embrace the energy of fire as an element that heals and guides my transformation, and the transformation of others, towards embracing full awakened Christ consciousness.
- Stand embodied in my brilliance, allowing for myself to be seen and heard, accepting myself fully and completely from a place of courage, openness and trust.
- Dance through all of Life’s changes with ease, grace, and a lightness in my steps.
- Understand that in every moment there is a death and rebirth happening simultaneously, cycling endlessly as the eternal constant of change, and to embrace this nature of Life by grounding myself into the present moment, holding on to nothing to be truly free.
As the years have passed, sometimes I wonder if being initiated into Phoenix Medicine has been a blessing or a curse. I have been in the fires of transformation, aspects of me dying, so many times that it has felt like a never-ending initiation. Every time I resist allowing everything to burn to ash, it can be such an intense and agonizing process. What I have learned is that the grace comes with the surrender, the moment of letting go of it all (especially your idea of how it 'should' go), and in the re-birthing process I am a completely new version of myself. Like any shamanic initiation, they are here to teach us our medicine that we are here to bring the world, and it has become very clear that my role is in helping people through these cycles of death-rebirth & awakening as a guide who empowers them to find their own will, strength, and courage to transcend their physical-emotional-spiritual wounds.
I consider myself a death doula of your egoic identities and wounded stories, as well as a midwife of your spiritual awakening. It is my hope that I can offer some guidance that will help you have a more easy and graceful transition towards self-actualization and God-realization than I ever have had. I know that is a big part of why I am here. Our earth and every single living thing on this planet are in a long-awaited and prophesied transition, and I am here to be one of the many guides to help bring some peace of mind and love to those who experience some of the most radical peak experiences and darkest and most despairing lows imaginable in order to find the balance within a new energetic framework and newly birthed consciousness.
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