BEASTLY TALES - THE DUELLIST
Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE DUELLIST
A Duel is a fight, if you feel in a stew,
Between two persons with little else to do.
They usually had two “seconds” as well,
Unlike boxing, they had no loud bell.
A fairly foolish way to settle a quarrel,
Ending, quite often, with one boasting his Laurel,
Whilst the other one is injured or really quite dead,
With a most unseemly hole in his head.
“But I say, old bean, it’s been honour served”,
“Never let it be said that from duty I’ve swerved”.
Such Victorian era sentiment prevailed,
Against which commonsense sadly paled.
So called “upper classes” this practice did follow,
In such foolish sentiment they did wallow.
Enter now Sir Sebastian Snickerbokker,
A very rude man a universal mocker.
He’d deride all that he surveyed,
His welcome he usually overstayed.
He went to his special Gentleman’s club,
Where he felt he had received an unwarranted snub,
From another member, Sir Algernon Hull,
Who’d implied that all Snickerbokker’s were stupid and dull.
He slapped Sir Algernon on the face with a glove,
And then leaned forward to give him a shove.
“I say, Sir, you bounder, you cad!”
“Satisfaction just has to be had”.
“We’ll meet on the rugby field at dawn”,
“And you’ll surely wish you’d not been born”.
“You may, your weapon simply choose”,
“And you’d better choose well for I think you’ll lose”.
Sir Algernon now some pistols he chose,
Feeling vindicated from some of his woes.
Our “seconds” we’ll choose at a time much later,
We want solid men, neither a traitor.
Came the dawn, it was not even light,
Sir Algernon got up ready to fight.
He made his way out to meet his “second”,
And he saw him as he feebly beckoned.
“Come, Sir Algernon, to the Rugby field”,
“But it’s not too late to desist and yield”.
“Honour must be served!” he lamely said.
“Although it would be fine if I stayed in bed”.
They reached the field in the morning mist
In good timing for their desperate tryst
Dressed in black, each with a Top Hat,
Said Sir Sebastian, “I’m glad I’m thin and not fat”,
“A smaller target I will make”,
Sir Algernon began to quake.
The “seconds” said, “Stand back to back”.
Each did so for courage they did not lack.
“Then take ten paces and turn and fire”.
Now they were certainly down to the wire
And so each duellist did what they were told,
Pacing the distance in a manner most bold
Sir Algernon maintained a rapid short pace,
And so he was first to turn and face,
Sir Sebastian across the rugby field.
And rapid movement he did not yield.
“Bang!” His pistol did fire out,
And Sir Sebastian gave a loud shout!
“I’m hit”, said he, hand to his head.
Instantly he then fell down dead!
What can be drawn from this miserable tale?
If ever one is challenged don’t ever fail,
To stay well on the side of the meek,
And heed the advice to turn the other cheek!
And you’d better choose well for I think you’ll lose”.
Sir Algernon now some pistols he chose,he that fight and leave, live to fight another day..good lesson, nice post
To stay well on the side of the meek. Vengeance belong to God and moreover, there are better ways to settling strife. good art you get here!
Sir Algernon is a cheat, anyway what happened to Sir Sebastian Snickerbokker would have happend to sir Algernon if he isin't fast enough.
That is actually what do happen in every duel one will have to win and the other lose. Bye bye Sir Sebastian Snickerbokker.
Nice tale.
Please let me in. Is this a poetry or Rhymes? I love your initiative but am not familiar with this sort of presentation.
Thanks for sharing. Can't wait next BEASTLY TALES.
thanks, have a greate today
keep it up richard. as i read your poetry, i am becoming a fan of yours.
thank you.
I really love this one, another favourite to add to the list. This is yet one more example of how humans have a long history of stupidity, hard to believe this is actually the way they worked out there differences and to late to change your mind if you decided that you wanted to talk things through.
Written as only @beastlybanter would do it. While I would not subscribe to a duel to settle a dispute, I do admire the men of that era for whom honour meant a lot to. People would go the extreme to defend their honour. These days, there is hardly any honour to defend.
So I've just learnt the necessity of letting things go and the essence of meekly turning the other cheek to avoid any unnecessary misery which would've occurred..... Big lesson; it's a thumbs up from me, well done sir.