An Introvert's Guide to Using Uber and Lyft

The first few times you use Uber or Lyft it can feel like a socially weird experience. How do you talk to this person who's car you're in? Are you buddies? What are the social norms for this brand new routine you've never had before? Damn it you finally stopped saying "you, too!" after the usher says "enjoy your movie!" and now you have to get familiar with a whole new interpersonal system - where the drivers can rate you!

Maybe you're not that stressed about it. But in case you are, here's me. I've been a full-time Uber and Lyft driver in the Denver area for over a year. I thought I'd take some time to answer a few questions about Uber etiquette that I get on a regular basis from newer users. Of course none of these are hard-and-fast rules; this is just what I've learned from my own experiences.

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Do I sit in the front or the back?

Either is fine. I've noticed that people from large cities who are used to taxis tend to sit in the back out of habit.

Do I have to like... talk to you?

No. If you want me to shut up and be a taxi, I'll shut up and be a taxi. I understand you may have just gotten off of a 14-hour flight. You may be socially anxious. Maybe both. Just do me a favor: sit in the back if you're not going to speak the whole ride. Silence is weird when you're sharing an armrest.

Can I play my music?

Yes. Uber's app lets you play your music through your driver's phone if you have Spotify's premium service, and you can also ask your driver to borrow their aux cable. Of course, they're not required to have one, so they might not.

Just try to be considerate. This isn't your car - the driver doesn't have to turn it up to 11 if he doesn't want to.

Can I use your phone charger?

Probably. Please ask first. Drivers aren't required to charge your phone, but of course if mine isn't almost dead I'm happy to let you have some juice. Just please don't rip the cord out of my phone without asking (this has happened).

Can I eat/drink/smoke in here?

You can certainly eat in your Uber or Lyft. Sometimes your tummy's got a case of the rumblins. Just please don't make a mess!

Always ask your driver if it's OK before you hop in the car with a bendy straw in a whiskey bottle. Be aware of your state's open container laws. Your driver is not exempt from them. In many states, if a cop sees you drinking, your driver could face heavy fines and have their Uber or Lyft account suspended.

Do not smoke in my car. I drive other people around for a living. I also like living.

Can I bring my dog?

I love dogs and I'm excited to hang out with yours. That said, it's always a good idea to text your driver before they arrive to make sure they're OK with dogs. And keep in mind, muddy paws can make a big mess. Bring a towel if it's wet outside so your dog can sit on it.

How do I find you?

If you're getting picked up at a large venue or a multi-building complex, try to drop your pin at the spot where you'll be when you come out. If you just put in the address or use your current GPS location, the pin drops in the center of the whole address. I have no way of knowing which entrance of the mall you'll come out of if the pin is in the middle of it.

Also, try and be visible. Wave when you see me. All I get when I accept the ride on Uber is your name. Any of these people could be Sam. If you don't do anything when you see me, I'll assume you aren't you and drive right by.

Keep an eye on your phone - both Uber and Lyft show the approximate location of your driver on the map.

If you just can't find your driver, text or call them and ask where they are. It's very possible they're just on the other side of the street or around a corner. It's almost always more efficient for you to come to them, but be sure to communicate this so you don't just swap places.

Can you wait? I'll be out in a minute!

Both Uber and Lyft will tell you approximately how long it will be until your driver arrives. You should do your best to be waiting outside when the driver gets there.

If you text me asking me to hold on, I'll probably wait a couple of extra minutes to be courteous. If I pull up and you're nowhere to be seen and won't answer my texts, I'll wait five minutes before assuming you've changed your mind about needing a ride.

My driver canceled the ride! WTF?

Your driver didn't cancel on you just to be a dick. Any number of things can come up during the drive from where he is to where you are. Maybe he realized he was almost out of gas. Maybe he got in a drone accident. Maybe he missed an exit and realized that mistake would add ten minutes to your wait time. It could be anything, but it's not personal. I try to text my passengers to let them know why I canceled a ride, but since I'm driving, that's not always possible or safe.

This isn't the way I normally take...

I'm happy to go whatever route makes you comfortable, or take any shortcuts you want to share. But I am using GPS. We will get there. If your driver is very clearly going the wrong way, make sure you entered the correct address.

Can we go to that taco place by the bank?

I'm gonna need some more specifics. Uber drivers get to know the city pretty well, but they don't have phonebooks in their heads. If you can, try to enter your destination before your driver arrives. Telling the driver where you're going after he picks you up means he has to enter it into his phone, which takes time - time you're paying for.

Can you make multiple stops?

Absolutely, silly! I'm getting paid to drive you where you're going. I will happily take as much of your money as you want to give me. However, be aware of which service you're using - Uber and Lyft both now offer carpool options, UberPOOL and Lyft Line. These features allow me to pick up a second passenger if they're going along your route. If you're using these, I can't stop somewhere else, because that would delay another person's ride.

I'm going 60 miles away, is that okay?

I'm a full-time driver with no other schedule commitments. For me, long rides pay the rent. However, if you want to be extra courteous, it is nice to text your driver in advance if they're in for an hour-long drive. They may have been planning to jump online for a few minutes and now need to notify someone they'll be late. Ultimately though, unpredictable schedules are a risk we take with this job.

I feel like my driver did a bad job... but is this a one-star job?

Give whatever rating you feel is appropriate. If your driver was rude or incompetent, you're possibly saving future passengers the hassle of dealing with him by giving a lower rating. On both platforms, a rating of one or two stars means the system will never match you with that driver again, even if they're closest to you - you'll never have to deal with them again. This is also true for the ratings we give passengers. I wish I had that ability when I was a server.

You're great! How do I make sure I get you next time?

Thanks! But unfortunately, the system will only match you with the closest driver. Since the nature of my job is to move from place to place, there's a good chance I'll be hours away the next time you need a ride. There's also a good chance I won't be working. Most Uber drivers choose the job because of the total flexibility - if we had to be on-call for specific customers, most of us couldn't do it.

Do I tip?

On Uber: No. It's not expected in my area, at least. Uber's training videos tell drivers to refuse tips unless you insist. A driver shouldn't give you a low star rating just because you didn't give him some extra cash.

On Lyft: YES. Lyft fares are lower, and Lyft drivers also keep a lower percentage of fares. Lyft's app prompts you to tip after your ride. Take a second to decide if your driver was outstanding, or just OK. If they went the extra mile (figuratively), tip accordingly.

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That wound up being longer than I expected, but I'm sure I missed plenty. I'm not an expert, but I'd be happy to answer any questions about my experiences as a rideshare driver.

Safe travels!

edit: formatting