#anhouraday - When you realise you're in the wrong place (failed piece)

start 9:27PM

#anhouraday is a tag started by @tarazkp in this post - I'm using it as an opportunity to take pressure off myself in posting consistent content - having a tag to do it under makes me feel part of a community, making things easier.

Some days, I might feel like writing freely and today, I've been really torn.

I'm editing this at 10:25 and I'm not happy with what I've written at all. Despite having really great experiences today, I had fear come up about writing about them, though this genuine style is what I want to stick with.

Instead, I tried to build off my last post on the topic of "What it is to realise you're in the wrong place," an idea I was incredibly in tune with two weeks ago, but today was my 2nd official day at my new job, and I really enjoyed myself, if anything. I'm in-tune with what it is to be in the right place.

In fact, I'm going to park all of that in my monthly writing blurb write for you all right now.

What a joke huh? spending the last hour contradicting myself, going back and editing, trying to write about new things. All to just scrap it and write on the fly.

Today was a great day.

I felt I could completely be myself. Knowing I could get work done at any point, I slept in. I've gone about demanding the world to work around me a bit more lately. And although I will have to work around my world at times, today I really felt free in what I could do - and we can all request the world to work around us sometimes.

I went into the office, I worked, I wrote a couple of drafts for pieces and after, I went to a meetup called blockchain and the future of biotech. Now that I'm working within the cryptocurrency and blockchain space, I really feel like I can be myself and follow my curiosity in blockchain; and I feel like what I naturally want to do is valuable - and that's an amazing feeling, well worth the paycut.

It's been hard work to really tune in to what my value actually is, and I still have a long way to go in refining these strengths and using them - but really, as I tune into this, I feel more of my environment working with who I am as a person, not against.

Now to be fair, there is a decent chance that I'll be knocked back and restricted by my new company, or maybe not. Why can't I continue demanding the world to work with me? What's stopping me from maintaining confidence in myself, and therefore instilling other's confidence in me?

Eugh, I should have done yoga before this, or at least given myself some time to settle and consider what I wanted to post for you all. I'd only just gotten home from the event and went straight into trying to write something.

In reality, there was so much to write about from today, I met Joshua Young, the founder of auug and answered his questions about what blockchain provides over traditional data storage. I met Genevieve Leveille, who's been involved massively in the crypto space, and is now working with AC Chain, a 3rd generation blockchain which provides tools to digitize assets.

Yet I stopped myself from writing about my day out of fear, and I didn't acknowledge this early enough and take a step back - silly mistake.

Here's to learning when it's important to settle yourself, and knowing how to do it.

Thanks for reading this nothing post!

fin 11:00PM

inb4 it's 1am and I facepalm myself to sleep thanks to a bunch of ideas :D