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RE: Getting Girlfriends for My Husband--Why I Encourage Him to Sleep With Other Women
wow, while it sounds like a good thing for you I can only imagine that underlying all this is a trust issue. As a husband I'd be leaving you because of the trust issues raised as a result, and that's part of my makeup. On the other hand, I wonder if you're pretty much non-affectionate for him to need to share physical intimacy with others, which leads me to believe you have childhood issues from a lack of physical affection from your Mom or Dad-probably. I had the same raising. Then again, I'm no psychologist, just a regular guy with a high sex drive. I'd rather masturbate than dissolve the trust in my marriage, so your husband must not have those kind of values. Don't you worry about getting some STD's, or do you not have sex at all?
Believe it or not, he's been able to work out this same arrangement in every serious relationship he's been in. I'm not his first wife, though he is my first husband. Years ago, he was a locally well-known musician and had a lot of groupies, and it just came with the territory, so I think his earlier relationships may have just known that going in.
With me, I participated at first, but quickly lost interest because these encounters reinforced my knowledge of being completely heterosexual, as much as he really wanted me to be bi. Then, he didn't go looking for other women for a while, because we were doing okay together.
Eventually, I became disinterested in HIM, as well as mad, frustrated, and resentful, because of HIS lack of physical affection, which I craved. He came from a background of abuse, and used that as his reasoning, and the first few years we were together, I was so madly in love, it didn't matter. But, as the relationship went on, I became upset I had needs he didn't even care about meeting.
Letting him go have sex with other women, who he would have brief flings with, moving on to other women before they became disinterested for the same reasons as I did, was my way of making sure he got to have sex the way he wanted to, without having to put up with sex that didn't meet my needs at all. I'd rather have no sex than selfish sex where it was all about him and not about me at all.
That's what it's come to. I'd have divorced him years ago if it weren't for financial issues.