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RE: "I am torn between two life-styles. What shall I do?"
I want to try sharing a little input. Feeling comfortable with yourself means you love yourself, both mentally and physically. You also have to work hard and make some important adjustments to learn to accept yourself and overcome unhappiness in life. If you want to feel good about yourself, start by recognizing the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that might prevent you from achieving them. After that, you can develop a lifestyle that can make you feel valuable, loved, and intact.
Thanks for this my Teacher @nomad-magus