Which is better, a stable relationship or a painful one? What would you prefer?
Hi,
After many dates and several relationships I am still wondering what would be better – an unstable, uncertain and potentially painful type of relationship that is full of passion or a relationship that, although boring and passionless, is safe and stable?!
Kira
Credit: Andreas Tille
Kira,
The answer depends of course on the individual who asks and his/her choices in life. However, for the one who walks the journey of enlightenment, of personal growth, I would unequivocally say – only a full-passion relationship that may cause pain could guarantee awakening the deeper levels of the soul. Therefore, such a relationship, albeit unstable, is preferred.
After all, what are the grievances one suffers in a relationship, what do the hardships, the misunderstandings and so on, mean if not a clear sign from the aspects of you that have so far been ignored and now want to be recognized and loved. Difficulties and impediments in a relationship help one to grow quickly and therefore should be considered a gift and not at all a symbol for one’s incapacity to be sociable or successful in life.
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If one chooses a stable relationship in which the heart doesn’t enjoy thrills, passion and excitement, then soon enough the alleged stability that the mind indulged itself in will evaporate and the repressed parts of the soul will demand their pound of flesh. A relationship is certainly a meeting place of two individuals and as such compromise is necessary. The important issue, however, is to compromise on the insignificant elements, unimportant for the soul. Passion, feelings, challenges are all ingredients that sustain your life and compromising them is a death sentence for you.
Having said all that you need to know, and this may be a comfort, that at the end of the road awaits a relationship which is drama-free, well balanced, fun and happy (yes! imagine that). For some, a stable relationship means boredom, but I tell you that it's the opposite. Life next to an enlightened loved one, is much richer because it's not only you and the other person taking part in the relationship but your divine selves as well.
And those really know how to party! 😉
So, which is better in your opinion? What would you choose for your self? A relationship with lots of drama or a quiet one?
For me the stable relationship that everyone in want in every human being in his life, still I think I choose a bad relationship first and looking for mafaat in bad relationships and bad experiences to be a better future.
I prefer you a stable relationship. Because Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For some, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a
caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Those relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish patterns of relating to others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.
In my opinion, we should forget the word about STABLE because in this world nothing is stable, means every moment is an action and every action is unstable, so in turn every relationship is unstable and in my opinion relationships can be categorized into two phases and that are explorative and and non-explorative, in explorative relationship we always take one step ahead to make the relationship more passionate and in non-explorative relatioship you will just continue the relationship without any passion. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
A painful one before a stable one... This is because it will teach you what true love is..
Years ago people worked thru their problems.
Family remained close .... Times have changed people take vows yet I do not believe that they actually understand or take them to heart.Divorce is like breaking up...sadly, they do not communicate that is a very big thing.
Also getting married quickly and before marrying they do not discuss important issues before making that commitment.
Discussions on how to raise children,finance and religion.Sadly many young people confuse lust with love .
You must like this person and love this person Loving and being" in love " again a very big issue! Sadly rushing into marriage hurts many people and families. Many people cannot be alone ,they are not comfortable with themselves so they seek out people so they are never alone. If you do not love yourself and are not comfotable with yourself how can you even consider getting involved with another You have to want a relationship....not need one...there is a huge difference between the two.If you have communication,trust and attraction & passion and enter into a commitment having already discussed the issues I mentioned there is a very very good chance that the relationship is strong enough to withstand almost anything. Accepting each other for who they truly are means a lot and we all need personal space as well .So with all I have stated ,I believe yoir answers can be found
@nomad-magus I advice you a stable relationship.
It should be balance of the two.. Some drama, some excitement, and stable elements in it... It should be worth living for as far as the partners are concerned.. Not boredom and all that..
I chose between painful and stable relationship. The only question is whether stable relationship becomes eventually painfull as well. My opinion is”YES” it will become pain at the end.
When you are living a drama free life, when you are centered within your being, when you are immersed in your own self-love, there is no pain.
For neither parts.
It's actually a matter of choice. I don't think all the relationships which are passionate cannot be stable. Sometimes passionate relationships are stable too and sometimes those which are not passionate are neither stable. Anyways comings back to your post , in my opinion a relationship which is quiet is good because life is too busy to have time for all the thrills and excitements.
"It's actually a matter of choice."
By who?
By people obviously. Some people want the stable type of relationships and some want the thriller type. I myself prefer stability over thrill.
My question is: Why would you wanna choose between two extremes? Isn´t it better to aim for the middle and find a relationship who has enough passion to keep it interesting but in which you are both friends and partners so she doesn´t walk away with most of your stuff?
I prefer stable one :)