RE: "He doesn't treat me as he should and I don't know what to do about it. Any advice?"
Another important factor that can be added here in advice is perhaps there should be more communication and clarity of what is wanted by both. Also the need for understanding situations.
Perhaps this is a time where both people talk about what is needed and expected to make thing work.
Was it talked about that when he is feeling too tired that perhaps he should call and reschedule? Was it talked about how being disregarded in certain situations become hurtful?
If he is working 2 jobs it is understandable that he is tired and cannot come up with the energy to do another activity. Although it is wise to advise the other that he cannot commit to such activity.
If she is wanting to be his priority but he is not making it so, this is where I see there is a lack of communication. Does he have loans that he wants paid off urgently to be able to jump to the next step in his life?
Honestly, sit down and talk to each other. What are the priorities for each person and what are the priorities as a couple in a relationship, what is needed, what hurts, what feels good too. What is acknowledged, seen and felt. Talk about the good and the bad and find balance.
I like what you wrote at the end
Naturally, you can choose to do that inner work while being in a relationship or outside one. You can leave him, work on yourself and then look for a new spouse. You can also take a break. It doesn't matter actually because it's not about him or your relationship. It's about you, as I have explained above. It's a skill to be in a relationship and grow oneself. Do you have the patience, the stamina? The reward may be a comforting hug from your beloved in those hours where you are confused and baffled about life.
In a relationship, together we grow as one but we are also just oneself that also continues to grow.
There will always need inner work to be done. Respect and love thyself first. Then you can truly love someone else.
Thanks @foxyspirit for reminding us abour the human perspective. I whole heartily agree that good communication is a must, for long happy relationships.
In my posts, I usually observe and examine relationships from the master point of view, where happiness is a state of grace, being allowed and happens effortlessly between two realized humans. I for one do not hold the marriage counselors' approach, to work on the relationship. Nope. For me, something that needs to be constantly worked on is not authentic and better be released. Much like a job we don't like and force ourselves to go to. Up until today I have had only glimpses of a relationship between two masters (I'm saying two because I'm monogamous). In the course of the year 2019 I will be encountering a realized lady with whom I will have a romantic connection, after which I will come to report of the nature of such a graceful relationship. You may stay tuned.
Thanks again 🙏
I see what you are saying and I agree. I believe, on the happiness point, that it can only come from ourselves.
The rest, I state as being 2 in a relationship. For things to work out properly 2 must work at it equally and not just one. I am trying to understand what you mean by working on the relationship, being a counselor's approach. Isn't working on a relationship what makes it work?
Perhaps the way I am looking at it is different.
Maybe it is the word 'working' that is being misused. We can always work on ourselves to better ourselves. It makes things a whole lot better. If our spouse is not well in some way and we show them support, reassure them, uplift, be their shoulder, that can be seen as working on the relationship. But by no means see it as being "work" like a paying job. Is that what you mean?
If I may ask, what is the 'master' point of view? Is that under a title?
I'll comment on both things:
The regular approach to relationship, and life, is that if something is not to our liking we need to do something to fix it. The Master knows that all is well and, like you said, they can make a choice and change from within. By expanding their consciousness the Master allows their energies to serve them. And there comes a point when life flows smoothly, effortlessly. In the example you mentioned, the supprt of a not-well spouse is not for the sake of "working on the relationship" or because that's what a loving spouse should do, but rather because that supporting behavior is an act of expression of the master. As such, it flows effortlessly and benefits the spouse. All in all, my posts are all about the master approach to life. In this comment i touched it very briefly. :)
Wonderful!
It can take a lot of work one oneself to get there and I have yet to achieve it but I do know it.
You have gained a follower :) Thank you for elaborating on this. Much appreciated.