I think I might be an asshole?

in #advice8 years ago

So I've had this hectic few days.

On Wednesday I found out my pub, The Orange Tree, has been nominated for best pub restaurant in Zambia's Hospitality Awards which was a super awesome way to start your hump day.

Then on Thursday I got this message on my pub's public wall: "Sad that Orange Tree do not pay their artists their performance fee, as deserved. Very self righteous, very cocky. Even when they lock up their business whilst their clients are there to support their paltry business." Turns out I had one DJ who did a gig like 4 months ago and I TOTALLY forgot to pay the asshole, anyway, that's how he chose to ask for his money, rather than just, ya know, send me a whatsapp or something. He also went on to say: "You're a cocky little shit, and I'm pretty sick of your arrogant parading like you're better than everyone else."

So anyway, then on Friday my friend says to me out of the blue "Yeah when I first mentioned to people I liked you when we met everyone warned me, saying what a arrogant prick you are and stuff". Which I find incredibly hurtful but ok.

THEN today I get this review of my pub FROM ONE OF THE JUDGES. "You need a good chef! The food is not tasty, what you served when we came for Zambian Hospitality Awards was terrible which is why you didn't get a single point from me. I have 20 years professional experience in the food industry. Your metal plates (we use enamel plates for some of our side dishes, trick I learned in the gastropub scene in London) are like prison and are not vintage. Sorry but it is important to criticise so you can get better" So much for impartial right?

Anyway, I am someone who considers myself to be a very intelligent person (you see where the cocky is coming from don't you), and I don't suffer fools well - of which Zambia has PLENTY. All of my closest friends have both the intelligence and the balls to both debate me, and stand up to me. And you know what, I think that's how it should be! I don't understand why I have to politely listen to stupid people saying incorrect things without being allowed to correct them. Why do I have to pretend to like someone when we so clearly don't like each other?

What I'd like to know Steemit, is how do I become a nicer person. How do I make myself less combative, I guess more humble? I really need advice cos I'm beginning to feel like I'm on a slippery slope, but I really am not a bad person. I'm really caring, I support my staff to the very best of my ability, and I look after my family with equal vigour. I'm a successful, young entrepreneur and I think the toughness required for that is effecting who I am day to day. How can you genuinely think of yourself as a pretty nice guy, when everyone around you thinks you're an asshole?

Thanks

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Hi! This post has a Flesch-Kincaid grade level of 7.8 and reading ease of 76%. This puts the writing level on par with Tom Clancy and F. Scott Fitzgerald.