Failing at a positivity challenge from day 1.

I keep having this recurrent memory of when I woke up to find my dying kitten Dahnous covered in ants feeding on his tiny body as he was taking his last breath. The night before I had covered him in a small blanket and cried myself to sleep seeing him all weak and not showing signs of recovery and I thought waking up to the sight of ants covering him up like he was already a corpse was going to be my worst nightmare ever.

Now everytime I see my dad lying helplessly on his bed, getting thinner by the day, what I thought could be my worst nightmare only seems like a distant bad memory. I keep having these images in my head of ants covering my cat, only now, it's dad instead of the cat.

I know I'm not spreading any positive vibes in here, as the challenge dictates, but here it is:

I'm grateful I'm strong enough to handle whatever life throws at me.

I'm also grateful (a bit sad but mostly grateful ) that I have no drugs or alcohol within my reach to turn to for when I hit rock bottom and just feel like I want to drown in my own sorrows.

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I was nominated by @calluna for this positivity challenge. I, myself, cringed at the idea of sharing my happy thoughts, but not for the same reasons. I cringed because the word "happy" seems so empty and devoid of meaning right now. The idea to be in any challenge whatsoever however made me feel excited since that would help me feel part of this community, so thank you.
I'll carry on this challenge once I feel like I'm in a more "grateful" mood.

The rules for the 7 Day Positivity Challenge:
• Write a post about something you have to be postive about today - this could be anything from being thankful for your current situation, someone being nice to you, being thankful for your friends and family, or even being thankful for the opportunity you have been given here on Steemit - just keep it positive :)
• Do this for 7 days in a row if you get nominated
• Mention three people who should do this on each day.
• Tag it with #7daypositivitychallenge and include these rules at the bottom of your post
• Include a picture of something positive (related to your story if possible)

=> I won't nominate any 'victims', but if you voluntarily wanna take part of this challenge, leave me a comment and I'll be more than willing to put you out of your misery..I mean, to put your name in this post.

Cheers.