The Potency of the Pause
A friend once shared a lesson that she learnt in a hard way in life. She used to have a temper issue and can say anything in anger. On that very day, she had a little misunderstanding with her ex on what she was obviously wrong about, which she did not see at that moment. In the heat of the temper, she looked at him with disdain and told him that she is just keeping quiet till after their wedding and that she will show him. The words did not sit right with him. He thought to himself that if she was already doing this much, who knows what she would do after marriage? That was how he called off the relationship. She later said that she did not mean it but it was already late. She allowed her temper to take over her. If she had taken a pause, it would have been avoided. Power of the pause.
The world is becoming too fast-paced and a lot of people are also become too impatient to understand one of the greatest cheat codes of life that needs to be mastered - learning to delay your reaction. It may look counterintuitive because of how quickly the world is moving, and a lot of people think that quick response is a big flex. However, true wisdom and long-term success do not always come from instant response, but from the power of taking a pause. Sometimes, when you take a pause before you respond or react, you will have more clarity to respond better, and you will also know if it is worth it to respond at all.
Have you been in a situation where anger made you to say something or act on impulse, or where fear made you to take unworthy decisions, and then you immediately regret it? This would have been avoided by taking a pause when your emotions are heightened - in anger, fear, or in an impulsive situation. More often than not, these situations make you to rush, panic, or do irrational things. These forces can propel you to act fast, but you need to understand that being fast does not automatically correlate to begin right. A lot of people have made some of their biggest life's mistakes simply because they allowed emotions to dictate their next step without taking a pause to think.
The power in the pause is so much that it can save you from a potential regret. Wisdom is also expressed by knowing when to pause. Trust me, when you stop for a few moments before you respond or react, it will give you the gift of clarity, so as to know what to do and how to do it. That moment of pause will also help you to reflect about what has happened and why it happened in the first place. This is so as to help you to respond appropriately to it. Even a no response is also a response. The little pause you take can create a very big difference. It acts as a sifter, to sieve out the noise of your emotions from the true voice of reasoning.
In a pause, you shift from automatic reaction to a refined response. That is, before you respond, you must have weighed in on some options, thought about them, and be more intentional about what to do. You will be surprised how just a little pause can make a very big difference. This can apply in lots of ways. As a leader for example, you do not have to rush blindly into action when you are being presented with a scenario that needs you to act on the spot. In a relationship, you also need to apply the same pause before responding. I have come to understand that you have a greater chance of preserving your relationship when you normally pause and think before talking or acting.
It is worthy to note that pausing is not a show of weakness or of inaction, nor does it mean being indecisive and slow, rather it is about controlled strength, discipline, and foresight. Anytime you are prompted to act or speak on the spot is the moment you need to stop a bit to think about what to do or say. Remember that even if you may be able to apologise after you have spoken or acted wrongly, the effect of it may stick around for a very long while.
Thanks for reading
